Daughter: But if we don't put them in on time we won't be ready! They're coming over and we have to start soon or we won't be ready!
Mother: Then there's only one option…suicide.
–Greenwich Café
Daughter: But if we don't put them in on time we won't be ready! They're coming over and we have to start soon or we won't be ready!
Mother: Then there's only one option…suicide.
–Greenwich Café
10-year-old daughter: Mommy, why you always belly bumping me?
Mother: That's right. The belly's hitting you.
10-year-old daughter: He's always hitting me, mommy.
–Elevator, Ridge St
Teenage girl: Mom! You're being obsequious.
Hip mom: Oh. “Obsequious.” Big word. Either you've started studying for the SATs or you're just pandering to your intellectual higher-ups. My guess is the latter.
–78th St & Broadway
Mom, showing baby box of Dora the Explorer-themed diapers: Look, baby, you're gonna have Dora!
Baby (touching box): Dora!
Dad: You and Dora gonna have beef after you crap all over her.
–Target, Atlantic Terminal, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Matt Johnson
Mom: The police are going to be everywhere today. They have to watch out for terrorists who might have bombs in their bags.
Little Boy: What if I accidentally have a bomb up my butt?
Mom: They'll have to squeeze it out of you. Being a policeman is a dangerous job.
Little Boy: But what if I fart, and it explodes?!
Mom: Being a policeman is a dangerous job.
–F Train
Overheard by: Stephanie E.
Little girl to mother: Do your boobs hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow?
Mother (under breath): You're laughing now, but one day…
–86th & York
Overheard by: Micaela
Little kid: Mommy, what's peyote?
Mom, looking around nervously: Ummm…ask your father, sweetie.
–F Train
Lady on cell: I've been standing here for like fifteen minutes…I don't know which one to choose. It's so hard…it's been like years since I've bought toothpaste.
–Duane Reade
Overheard by: Doreen
40-something woman: I'm always wondering, is it teeth or tits?
–MJ Armstrong's Public House
Overheard by: JP
Girl to friends looking into camera: Jane* got the foreskin stuck in her teeth.
–Grand St, Brooklyn
Mother to daughter: Your tooth came out last night. I didn't want to disturb you, but at least you have your other teeth in.
–Hester & Grand
Flustered strand employee: He left his teeth on the floor and just took off!
–Strand Bookstore, 12th St & Broadway
Mom: Why don't you want to go to that high school?
White daughter: Because there are too many black people.
Mom: I thought you were black…
White daughter: Yeah, I used to be black by association, but now I'm Puerto Rican.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: DL
MTA worker: Back in the day, cops let those gangs use all kinds of shit–chains, knives, pipes–but no guns. These days I'm afraid to let my son go out.
Young mom: Shit, you gotta be afraid for your daughter–some bitch tried to stab me two days ago!
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: conspicuous white guy
