If Mommy's Meds Hold Out That Long!

Upbeat mom to seven and nine-year-old daughters: And then we'll go to the family garden and then we'll go to the children's garden!
Elder daughter (sighing): And then can we go shopping?

–Botanical Garden

Headline by: sam

Runners-Up:
· “Because We’re Almost Out Of Entitlement and Materialism” – Dana Lishs
· “Children Are the REAL Inconvenient Truth…” – Bojo
· “Meet America’s Greatest Patriot” – KateNonymous
· “Where We Can Sow Money and Reap Prada” – 1310 (formerly SNA)
· “Why the Hilton Sisters Like Daddy More” – Brittlee

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on December 4, 2008
Family Ties, Headline Contest Winners, Kids, Moms, Parks, Questions, Shopping, Should've Used a Condom, The Bronx

Wednesday One-Liners Go Bump in the Night

College girl looking for a costume: I want to be a bumblebee–but not a slutty bumblebee!

–Ricky's, Near Columbia

Overheard by: M

Suit on cell: Just put a paper bag over your head and you can be that guy! You're the paper bag guy!

–Sheepshead Bay Road (on Halloween)

Young child to mother, after walking by a large group of people in zombie make-up: Mommy, that homeless man said he wanted to eat brains!

–St. Mark's Place

Overheard by: Blair

Girl in Supergirl costume, yelling on cell: I'm so sick of walking. (pause) I said I'm fucking sick of walking! (pause) I'm just dressed like Supergirl, you asshole, I can't *actually* fly!

–E 20th, Stuyvesant Town

Loud young Latina on Halloween: I wanted to be a hooker today, but I couldn't afford the costume.

–Troutman & Knickerbocker, Bushwick

Girl to another (dressed as Wilma Flintstone the morning after Halloween): Man, the Halloween walk of shame is the worst!

–33rd & 3rd

Posted on December 3, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Clothing, Columbia University, Girls, Homeless, Insults, Kids, Latinos, Lower East Side, Moms, Money & Class, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, Physical appearance, Prostitution, Store, Street, Students, Stupidity, Stuyvesant Town, Suits, Threats, Vampires, Ghouls, and Ghosts, oh my!, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Then What's That Kit-Kat Jingle About?

Child (walking up stairs out of subway station): Can I take a break? Let's take a break here.
Mother: No.
Child: But my legs hurt, I need to take a break.
Mother: There are no breaks in life.

–Lorimer St. L Station

Posted on December 1, 2008
Body Parts, Comebacks, Health and Hygiene, Kids, Moms, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Weirdness

Except Muslims, of Course

Cute teenage girl: Ma, what's with that Pope? Isn't he a pedophile or something?
Mother: This is New York, honey. We take everybody.

–21st St & 5th Ave

Posted on November 29, 2008
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Moms, Only in New York, Pedophilia, Pope, Teens

We'll Be Too Busy Experimenting with Oral Sex

Eight-year-old girl: Well, we could go to a movie for a date!
Mother: I don't know about that…
Eight-year-old girl (seriously): It's not like we're going to share popcorn!

–Upper West Side

Overheard by: redefining childhood sweethearts

Posted on November 29, 2008
Junk Food & Fast Food, Kids, Moms, Movies, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

…Sell at 23! …I Said Sell at 23!

Mom to six-year old son on cell: Come on, Christopher, let's go.
Six-year old son: What! I'm on the phone!

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Never Having Children

Posted on November 29, 2008
Cell Phone, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Family Ties, Kids, Moms, On Cell, Should've Used a Condom

New Yorkers Are Beginning to Understand How People in Other Countries Feel About Americans

Woman with baby to subway attendant: How do I get to the Empire Trade Center from Canal St?
Friend: Nah, how do we get to where them Twin Towers fell at?

–Atlantic Ave, Brooklyn

Posted on November 23, 2008
9 to 5-ers, Brooklyn, Directions, Friends, Kids, Moms, Questions, Tourism, Tourists, Weirdness

Meet Some Nice People, for a Change

Toddler at bus stop, throwing a fit: No! I don't want to get on the bus!
Bus driver: Come on! The bus is a fun place!
Nearby passenger: Yeah, I love the bus! Why don't you join us?
Boy's mother: Get your ass on the fucking bus.

–Q44

Posted on November 22, 2008
Bus Drivers, Insults, Kids, Moms, On the Bus, Passengers, Public Transportation, Should've Used a Condom

Raising a Masochist Has Its Challenges

Yuppie mom to crying daughter: Sophie, put your jacket on or you're going to get sick and have to get shots!
Detached father: Yeah, ten shots…and they'll hurt.

–Bleecker & MacDougal

Overheard by: Samskiii

Posted on November 21, 2008
Clothing, Dads, Family Ties, Illness, Kids, Medicine, Moms, The Village, Weirdness, Yuppies

Tonight on Deadliest Catch

Mom: You've had crabs before?
40-something son: Yeah…but it wasn't from having sex with a dirty whore. It was from sleeping on a dirty bed.

–Bx 12 Bus

Overheard by: maritza

Posted on November 18, 2008
Guys, Moms, On the Bus, Prostitution, Questions, Sex, STDs

Moms