Little guy to big guy wearing fur hat: You know, wearing fur is murder.
Big guy wearing fur hat: So is me pushing you off the train.
–A Train
Little guy to big guy wearing fur hat: You know, wearing fur is murder.
Big guy wearing fur hat: So is me pushing you off the train.
–A Train
Woman on payphone: I totally woulda done it too, I woulda kicked her ass…I’m telling you if that bitch wasn’t pregnant I woulda killed her. So instead I just punched the bitch.
–19th & 6th
Overheard by: Kaitlyn Meehan
Producer: Hey, you look like a psychotic baby. Maybe you should grow a bit of the hair back and a bit of the goatee back.
–27th Street office
Pregnant girl: I’m gonna have me a big bottle of E&J mixed with Hennessy after I have my baby.
–Highbridge
Overheard by: Kaitlen
Man on cell: Are you crazy? She can’t control a six pound dog and you want her to have your baby?
–46th & 8th
Overheard by: Renee Florence
I had just missed the train and was waiting on the bench at the end of the platform when a ragged looking crazy man starts pacing around in front of me. He says to himself: …and when I don’t take my medication, I get a little crazy, but I don’t like to take it because it makes me feel different…New Yorkers are all rude. In New Jersey they’ll say “Hi” back to you and ask how you are doing. New Yorkers are all rude or scared.
Crazy man sits a seat down from me. I am a typical computer tech: glasses, chunky, and neat. I am looking straight at the tracks, ignoring him.
Crazy man: This city’s full of queers and niggers and geeks, yeah geeks.
He looks at me and says: They’re all rude or scared. Scared that you’ll beat them. Beat on them. You know what I mean?
I don’t answer and am looking away from him.
Crazy man: See! See! Rude…scared.
He opens a NY Post.
Crazy man: Look at all these murders. All these people dying. Ever think they deserved to die, though?
I get up and walk all the way to the other end of the platform. The F train comes and I get on and sit down. I hear a voice next to me: Ever get the feeling you’re being followed?
–Delancey Street station
Overheard by: Matt
Clerk guy: Has anyone in this room been convicted of a felony? Come up to the front desk.
Husband: Okay, I’m going to go up there.
He returns 5 minutes later.
Husband: Hey, I’m all done. I told you you should’ve murdered someone, you’d be out too!
–Kings County Supreme Court, Downtown Brooklyn
Overheard by: Cassie Nicole
Guy #1: So where can I kill someone and not get in trouble?
Guy #2: I don’t know.
Guy #1: What about the ocean?
–Webster Hall, E 11th St
Student: So how can we use this information to our advantage?
Professor: Well, if you were ever going to kill someone you would want to bury them in wet ground.
Student: Like a swamp?
Professor, with evil grin: A swamp would be ideal.
–Electromagnetics Lecture, Columbia University
Chick #1: You know, just go with your first instinct.
Chick #2: What?! I don’t want to kill him!
–Hayden residence hall, NYU
Girl on cell: He's thinking of moving to Queens, and really I don't think we're going to be able to last through that.
–1 New York Plaza
Pretty 20-something on phone: So, I mean, I totally have a newfound appreciation for homicidal rages. Who the hell would ditch me for some ugly fag from Queens? Seriously, I should kill him. Or, just leave him in Queens…forever. Would that be a war crime?
–Wall Street
Overheard by: …I almost asked
30-something suit to another: I'll tell you though, it's not easy getting laid in Queens.
–Court St. & Montague
Overheard by: Kaiti
Enthusiastic, articulate conductor: As you can see, we're at the 21st Street stop! This is the first stop in Queens, soooo welcome to Queens! The next and final stop on this train is Courthouse Square. Now that we all know, let's be on our way!
–G Train
Overheard by: I wish this guy narrated all of my subway trips
Girl's in Queens for the first time: you can order milkshakes and cigarettes from the diner any time of night? This place is a fucking wonderland!
–Queens
Too tan woman: It’s the first day in a week that no one has called me a psychopath….yet.
–W. 66th between Broadway and Central Park West
Guy: I thought when I got up I was going to lose control. Then it went away.
–54th between 1st & 2nd
Overheard by: Brandy Rowell
Big guy: That girl’s a serial killer. She murders men and then leaves panties on their face.
–47th Street & 5th Avenue
Overheard by: Brian
NYU student: It must be hard to kill someone.
NYU professor: No, it’s not.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Blazed
