Murray Hill and Gramercy

Chick on cell: Yeah, I'm like a hardcore rollerblader now. I just haven't learned how to stop yet.

–44th & 3rd

Steroid Freak: So I was hanging from his torso and then we tried to insert the triangle…

–25th & Lexington

Young man to friend: He likes me, he likes my style… he wants me to contort my limbs on a float.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Eyeteeth

Bored teenage girl (from 2nd story window): Hello, Mr Runner man! You've got a long way to go! I see you across the street there, wearing all black. These are words of encouragement! I support your acts of fitness!

–Vanderbilt & Bergen

Overheard by: Jilly

Female power-walker with cigarette: I used to be able to make a mile in under 7, but that was, you know, way back in college, before the job and the (runs out of breath) …way back.

–Prospect Park Loop

Overheard by: EmLo

Music manager on phone: You know what you need? Lesbians! Everyone needs a lesbian.

–20th St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: LoRna

Lady on cell: And now she thinks I’m a lesbian because I borrowed her…

–Union Square Greenmarket

Overheard by: borrowed her what?

Guy on cell: Did you bring chairs and a cooler? Cause usually lesbians are so prepared, they always bring chairs and a cooler.

–Ludlow near Rivington

English woman (trying on a pair of vintage men inspired shoes) to man: I always thought there was something very chic about a woman wearing a man’s shoe. (looks at her footwear) But I have to be skinny for this look, otherwise I’ll look like a lesbian!

–Frock Vintage Store

Overheard by: Shoegal

Guy to friend: She isn’t a lesbian but she does own a house.

–13th & 1st

Woman on crutches: Do you have a cold?
Woman with red nose: Yedd. I'b geddig over it.
Woman on crutches: Oh my god, we're all falling apart!

–26th St & Park Ave

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Girl to boyfriend: Your idea of romance is an 8-ball and trying to get a hard-on!

–12th & Broadway

Preppy girl: Nothing turns me on like carbon monoxide!

–Lucky Jack's

Overheard by: Argopelter

Excited suit: He came out of the womb with a woody!

–1st Ave & 10th

Overheard by: moodle

Girl on cell: I heart you like an erection!

–34th & 2nd

Jock/pretty boy: Dude, I don't know why but she'd always give me boners in the middle of class.

–St Marks & 2nd Ave

Chick: It's all erections and prostates, erections and prostates! Could we have our check, please?

–Arctica Bar & Grill, 3rd Ave & 27th St

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Girl: Thank you.
Guy: For what?
Girl: For being you.
Guy: Can't you be more specific? I thank you for sex.

–24rd St & 3rd Ave

Woman: Ooh, where are you taking them?
Dogwalking guy: To pee on your leg.

–21st between 2nd & 3rd

Five-year-old girl: My favorite part of the movie was the naked man!
Mother: Mine too, mama.
Five-year-old girl: Naked maaaaaaaan!
Father: Make her stop.

–Park Avenue & 25th St

Hot man, in consultative tone: Very underrated how taking a huge dump can improve your day.
Hot woman: Seriously!
Hot man: I have something for you. Something that will change your life. I'm completely serious. Have you ever tried Metamucil?
Hot woman: No.
Hot man: You will take the most massive dumps ever and feel great. It's like weightlifting for your bowels.

–26th & Madison Ave

Chatty woman: There were two lesbians, or transsexuals, or whatever you call it…

–26th St & Park Ave

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Crazy shouting hobo: Lesbians are rapists! Lesbians are rapists! You stick your tongue in a pussy, you're a rapist! Rapist lesbians! Lesbians are rapists!

–E Train

Woman on cell: Of course I thought she was a lesbian! She walked like a dude!

–Sunset Park, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Laura

Middle aged woman to male on train, in one breath: Scientists say that in 2012 the sun will line up with the milky way and change the axle on the earth and you know it is hard to be a black lesbian cause most of these women just get tired of men and have sex with a woman but that doesn't mean they are bisexual just because they have sex with men and women and they ain't really lesbians they just think they are cause they have sex with women…

–D Train

Overheard by: thomas

Normal-looking girl to girlfriends: Do you know how many woman hit on me when I was in San Francisco?

–Bedford & 6th

Man on street: Does anybody need a lesbian lover? Because I'll get a sex change…

–79th St & Broadway

NYU Guy: Hey! I know you!
Foreign NYU Girl: Good! How are you?

–14th & Irving Place

Overheard by: NewYorkerNick