Son: Puff the magic dragon lived by the sea…
Daughter: And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee.
Son: Little Mikey Draper…
Daughter: You mean ‘little, ummm, Harry Safer’?
Son: Little Harry Safer…
Father: You mean Johnny Walker!
–57th & Broadway
Black man: Do you listen to Linkin Park?
Confused LI whitey #1: Ummm, no.
Confused LI whitey #2: He only asked you that ’cause your white.
–Virgin Megastore
Overheard by: Frank T
20-ish music enthusiast #1: Man, their last concert was so great — I got hospitalized right after.
20-ish music enthusiast #2: Seriously?!
20-ish music enthusiast #1: Yeah, man. I guess I suffered some abdominal tearing…
–Metro-North
Overheard by: gotta start driving to work again…
Chick to another: She’s a weed-smoking, modern orthodox girl. I mean, I don’t think she goes to her rabbi’s high, but…
–Brooklyn Museum
Overheard by: cole
Professor: … So the art department on the set just smokes pot all day and paints blue boulders.
–Media Productions class, City College
Mini thug: Yo, I wouldn’t even have to be high out of my mind to enjoy this shit!
–Brooklyn Cyclone, Coney Island
Overheard by: Alie
Smoking model on cell: Um, yeah, he’s cute… But, duh — he’s addicted to opiates!
–Houston & Laffayette
Overheard by: Jake
Hobo to girls: How are you smiling in a city filled with a million crackheads?
–56th & 5th
Guy on a rant in front of Imagine mosaic: In my next life I want to be an amoeba! Make more music, smoke more pot… Eating healthily is expensive! We should all have 40 acres and a mule and start all over!
–Strawberry Fields, Central Park
Overheard by: I’ll have what he’s having
Hobo at end of rant: God bless John Lennon and Marvin Gaye, because John Lennon said, ‘All you need is love,’ and Marvin Gaye said, ‘What’s goin’ on.’
Old lady: Now, that’s a nice thing to remember.
–7 train
Overheard by: Tom
Hipster chick: I have to start a new band… But this time, no sleeping with everyone.
Hipster guy: That’s going to be hard for you.
Hipster chick: I know. I have a hard time keeping it in my pants.
–14th & 5th, Park Slope
Girl: I can’t believe you did that! Why would you erase one of my songs from my computer?
Boy: Because I hate Jack Johnson! Anyway, you’ve erased some of my art on the computer.
Girl: Do you mean those pictures you took of yourself scowling with no shirt on?
–13th & Ave A
Overheard by: Lark
Seven-year-old girl: You know what I heard today?
Nine-year-old brother: What?
Seven-year-old girl: Hip hop is dead.
Nine-year-old brother: No, it’s not…
Seven-year-old girl: Nas says it is.
Nine-year-old brother: Hip hop was never alive, beeyotch.
–Pathmark, Eastchester Rd, Bronx
Overheard by: Lukas Page
Thug #1: … And I was like, ‘Damn, baby. I just bought you some pizza, we’re about to see a movie — is it really imperative that I buy you the Justin Timberlake CD so you can listen to it tonight?’
Thug #2: I know what you mean dog. My girl was beggin’ me to buy her that new Akon shit.
Thug #1: Why can’t bitches just be happy?
–116th St station
Young chick to pal: Carly Simon? Wasn’t she the one who sang ‘You’re So Vague’?
–Nail salon
Overheard by: Jersey Jude
JAP: I write pirate songs… in French.
–Broome & Broadway
Mom: Everyone in the world sings in Spanish. I mean, you know that song Chitty Chitty Bang Bang? I heard it in Spanish the other day. It goes like… ‘Chitty chitty bang bang, chitty chitty bang bang…’ They didn’t even translate the words into Spanish.
–Bloomie Nails, 20th & 8th
Classical pianist to another: Dude, I am mad stoked for studio class today!
–Manhattan School of Music
Overheard by: Christiana Little
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, we are being held here due to congestion up ahead… I bet this is when you miss elevator music.
–D train
Overheard by: mb
