Drunk White guy: Do you think I’m a good looking guy?
Teen chick: No, you are ugly.
Drunk White guy: Tell me what is ugly about me. Is it the scars on my face? I used to be a fighter.
She leaves the subway car.
Drunk White guy: I’ve had plenty of pussy. Black, White, Spanish, Colombian–that was the best–young Hispanic, young White, one time this nice African-American girl Tiffany. We were really in love…
–6 train
Guy #1: I hate those things.
Guy #2: Breasts?
–L Train
Overheard by: Derek
Matt Dillon: This theatre has awful feng shui.
–Union Square Regal Cinemas
Hipster guy: Yeah, like I’m gonna go see that queer Jersey Boys shit.
Hipster girl: Is there anything you would go see?
Hipster guy: No. Not some faggot-ass musical… Well, I might see Mary Poppins.
–1 train, 59th St
Chick #1: I just felt sad, so I slept with him.
Chick #2: But… he’s gay.
Chick #1: But he’s a good kisser.
–1 train
Chick #1: So, are you a bad boy?
Chick #2: Yeah, I’ll bet he rides motorcycles and has guns.
Dude: No, but I have killed a few people I didn’t like.
Chick #1, seriously: Don’t joke. I dated a guy who did that.
–1 train
Overheard by: Jay
Middle-aged woman exiting subway: Man, these are a lotta steps.
Young white woman: Yeah, living in New York is like living on a Stairmaster.
Middle-aged black woman: Amen, sister.
–Broadway & Fulton
Girl #1: I still can’t believe he cheated on you with her.
Girl #2: I know, right? Like, what does she have that I don’t?
Girl #1: I don’t know. Bigger tits?
Girl #2: Who cares? Mine are nicer. Plus I bet you I could do anything and everything better than her in bed. And, she’s slept with so many people that I bet her vagina is fucking sagging.
Girl #1: Yeah, they probably wouldn’t be able to tell if it was even in yet. Besides, you could probably catch an STD just by looking at her.
–E train
Overheard by: amanda
Prostitot #1: You know what I am totally afraid of? That I’ll say something dumb or mean in school, somebody will hear it then post it on their MySpace, and then, like, everyone will read it and think I’m dumb or something.
Prostitot #2: Oh, that is, like, easy to fix. All you do is put up a lot of pictures of you in, like, a bikini or your underwear or something, and then, like, everyone will be on your side if anybody says they heard you say something dumb or whatever. They’ll totally bash whoever made the nasty post about you saying they are jealous or some shit.
Prostitot #1: Wow, really?
Prostitot #2: Oh, yeah. Remember last semester when I got into that fight with Jaimie and she, like, posted the whole thing?
Prostitot #1: Yeah.
Prostitot #2: Well, the next day I put up that picture of me in the wet shirt. Everyone totally went after Jaimie saying she was just all jealous I had more friends on my page.
Prostitot #1: I am so going home now and putting up pictures of me in my underwear!
–F train
Little girl: Stop the train! Stop the train!
Train stops.
Little girl: Why did the train stop?
Dad: Because you were talking too loud.
–Uptown R train
Overheard by: Rachel
