Boy: We’re watching Pimp My Ride.
Man: What does “pimp” mean?
Boy: It’s someone who owns women.
–Washington Square Village
Boy: We’re watching Pimp My Ride.
Man: What does “pimp” mean?
Boy: It’s someone who owns women.
–Washington Square Village
British chick: I just solved my lunch problem, because I hate raw cheese.
–27th Street office
Guy: Bitch, you better give me back my donuts or I’ll pull out your weave.
–Washington Heights
Overheard by: Vinson Guthreau
Guy: Nothing like going to Chuck E. Cheese to make you start drinking again.
–82nd & Amsterdam
Overheard by: JY
Lady: This is a yuppie McDonald’s. It’s all middle class people here.
–McDonald’s, 47th Street
Overheard by: Christa Bramberger
As a Brooklyn Brewery delivery truck passed a toddler on the sidewalk yelled: I love beer!
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: tee sul
Bartender: If the Burp Castle ever closes it means the death of classical music in New York.
–Burp Castle bar, E. 7th Street
Guy on cell: Is this like that time where Laura told me that cat food was Lucky Charms?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Cynthia
A woman noisily bites into an apple, opposite a guy typing on his iMac laptop. She says: Mine’s delicious, how’s yours?
–A train
Guy #1: I don’t care about the goddamn pope anymore! What is it, it’s on the front page of every paper. Who cares?
Guy #2: I know, he’s going to die in a few years anyway.
–20th & 7th
Overheard by: Tom
Dowager: I’ll take a Swiss cock, please. That looks good.
–Bakery, 58th & 7th
Man on cell: That stuff was too expensive. Why don’t I just buy one of those cheap necklaces on the street and you can put in a blue boz and say it was from Tiffany’s.
–57th & 5th
Overheard by: Angie
Preppy: Hey Dave, put another beer in this cooze!
–Blind Tiger Ale House, Hudson Street
Guy: Golden retrievers are beautiful animals. If I were a golden retriever, I would be so vain!
–Shade, Sullivan Street
Guy on cell: Oh, you want a doggy treat? When I get home I’ll give you a big fat bone.
–34th & 8th
Woman: Peter! Dog poop is not a toy!
–CPW & 65th Street
Overheard by: Johnathan
Lady: Girl, or all the hairs growin’ out of my face, I’d take your wart in a second.
–Bally Sports Club, Madison & 43rd
Overheard by: Heather Hunter
Trendy boy: God, I feel so bad farting next to all these really expensive cars.
–Jacob Javits Center
Overheard by: Lindsay
Dude on cell: …so I got into this fight last night and totally whaled on the dude…totally kicked his ass! His nose was bleeding and everything!….OK, I’ll see ya later. Peace.
–Coffee Shop, Union Square West
Paparazzo: So you two are really pretty, have you ever done any modeling?
Dutch girl #1: Ha ha ha, not me, maybe her.
Dutch girl #2: No, I am studying history at home.
Paparazzo: You really should consider it, there is great money in it and I would love to help you get started.
Dutch girl #2: Sounds interesting…what type of modeling?
Paparazzo: Well, nude sells the best. We can go over to my place and discuss it.
Dutch girl #1: Great!
Dutch girl #2: Maybe you can take some of us together.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Stephanie Nally
Hobo: Please man, can I have 25 cents? It’s to eat, ya know…
Man: Here you go. But if I was you, I’d eat something else.
–Hylan Boulevard, Staten Island
Overheard by: Helniev
Pregnant chick: You know when I pop this bitch out it is on. Get me a drink!
–2/3 train
Mother: Come here. You’re seven years old and you can’t fasten your own shoelaces? No more video games for your black ass.
–W. 53rd & 10th
Overheard by: James Shannon
Queer: You know, she sent her children to England, so they’d learn how to pronunciate words correctly.
–Angelo’s, 55th Street
