Dude: I really need a second job.
Chick: You should post on craigslist or something.
Dude: Yeah, right. “WILL DO ANYTHING”.
Chick: Whoa, no, don’t say that. Soon you’ll have two cocks in your mouth and one in your ear.
–23rd & 6th
Overheard by: Peter
Girl: Sorry, I’m trying to be as French as possible.
French guy: Oh, I’m from Bawsten.
–N train
Overheard by: c. dubs
The train pulls out of the underground. Three Hispanic teens look outside.
Hispanic teen #1: You can’t see the Eiffel Tower from here?
They continue looking for a good twenty seconds.
Hispanic teen #2: That shit’s in Paris, yo!
–F train
Overheard by: Daniel Radosh
Guy #1: Are you on crack?
Guy #2: No…
Guy #1: Man, you’re wearing like five jackets. You’re telling me you’re not on crack?
–31st & 8th
Man: So I said, “Bitch, I’ll buy you weed, but you want crack go get it yourself!”
–125th & Park
Woman: I’m not a crackhead. I’m a crack user. There’s a difference.
–Smith & 9th station
Overheard by: Paul Ford
Boy #1: Damn, almost be fallin’ in the tracks.
Boy #2: Dog, you know when you’re on crack you shouldn’t play by the track.
–96th Street 6 station
Overheard by: Eric Barthels
Girl #1: I asked for liposuction for graduation.
Girl #2: Where?
Girl #1: In my ass.
Girl #2: Did you get it?
Girl #1: No. But I’m happy with the car.
–The Equitable Building, Broadway & Pine
Overheard by: Fletch
Hobo: Help me out, get me something to eat.
Girl: Can I buy you something from the deli?
Hobo: No…I can’t eat anything from there. I’m gonna get a Happy Meal. See, I pray seven times a day. Yeah, we Muslims can’t eat anything from there. Can you spare some change so I can get a Happy Meal?
Girl: No.
–Broadway & 92nd
Overheard by: Hannah Elka
Girl: Your breath is stinky.
Guy: Please. My breath is so fresh they should name a mint after it.
Girl: How about excre-mint?
–56th & 1st
Boy: We’re watching Pimp My Ride.
Man: What does “pimp” mean?
Boy: It’s someone who owns women.
–Washington Square Village
British chick: I just solved my lunch problem, because I hate raw cheese.
–27th Street office
Guy: Bitch, you better give me back my donuts or I’ll pull out your weave.
–Washington Heights
Overheard by: Vinson Guthreau
Guy: Nothing like going to Chuck E. Cheese to make you start drinking again.
–82nd & Amsterdam
Overheard by: JY
Lady: This is a yuppie McDonald’s. It’s all middle class people here.
–McDonald’s, 47th Street
Overheard by: Christa Bramberger
As a Brooklyn Brewery delivery truck passed a toddler on the sidewalk yelled: I love beer!
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: tee sul
Bartender: If the Burp Castle ever closes it means the death of classical music in New York.
–Burp Castle bar, E. 7th Street
Guy on cell: Is this like that time where Laura told me that cat food was Lucky Charms?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Cynthia
A woman noisily bites into an apple, opposite a guy typing on his iMac laptop. She says: Mine’s delicious, how’s yours?
–A train
Guy #1: I don’t care about the goddamn pope anymore! What is it, it’s on the front page of every paper. Who cares?
Guy #2: I know, he’s going to die in a few years anyway.
–20th & 7th
Overheard by: Tom
