Girl: Are you saying I’m a whore?
Guy: No, no, I’m just saying… [whispers].
Girl: You’re saying I’m a whore!
Guy: No, I’m saying… [whispers].
Girl: I’m a girl who likes to watch porn and what? [Guy whispers.] I like to watch porn and what?
Guy, softly: … Likes to watch porn and have sex.
–Menchanko restaurant, 45th & Lex
Overheard by: emily
Old man: I went to a party the other night–it was a girlfriend-swapping party!
Cook: Oh, yeah?
Old man: I hadda throw in cash!
–Greasy Spoon, Church St
Overheard by: missal
Cash register guy: Yo man, how you doing? I saw your daughter walk past here yesterday. She was with some new dude.
Bagel customer: Really?
Cash register guy: Yeah, I never saw her with this guy before.
Bagel customer: Yeah, I don’t really keep track of her.
Cash register guy: Yeah man, she’s always with a different guy. I never see her with the same guy twice. You know, one day I saw her two times in an afternoon, and she was hangin’ all over a different guy each time. Two in the same day, you know?
Bagel customer: I don’t control what she does.
–87th & 1st
Overheard by: K. Fung
Girl #1: He wasn’t even that cute. Like, not good-looking at all.
Girl #2: But you fucked him?
Girl #1: Of course, he was Puerto Rican.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Jim VB
Man on phone: Come down the road and I'm the first house that you do not see.
–Office Building, W 46th St
Overheard by: TheGreenCat
Black woman on cell: Don't fuck in ma house!
–Union Square Station
10-year-old boy to another: Yeah, my mom says I can fuck a girl in her house, as long as she ain't a skanky-ass ho.
–105th & Broadway
Overheard by: Andy
Girl to friend: We can't hang out at my house. I don't know anyone there anymore.
–125th & Broadway
Overheard by: EthanK
Guy cycling past very fast, to cycling companion: So he bought a whole house just to store pot?
–Prospect Park, Brooklyn
Overheard by: peeper
City cop to two homeless guys: If your house is worth like $200,000, you can probably only get a equity loan for like $100,000. (homeless guys nod their heads in agreement)
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: E
Queer #1: Well, it’s because they have an open relationship and it seems that Dan is the only one who takes advantage of the openness a lot.
Queer #2: So is it love, because there’s mutually acceptable whoring? It could be love, you know. There’s consensus.
–L train
High school girl #1: My family is full of sluts. My sister just had a baby, my cousin just had a baby, my other sister just had a baby…
High school girl #2: So your mom’s a slut, also?
High school girl #1: Naw, my mom ain’t a slut.
–L train
Short NYU girl: It's not fair! Why do I always have to suck his dick? He's your boyfriend.
Tall NYU girl: Well, he said I was really bad at it.
–Starbucks
Chick: Okay, so let me get this straight — you left a top secret threesome at 4:30 in the morning, only to take home a guy you then met on the subway platform who you kicked out of your bed two hours later because your girlfriend was coming home in half an hour?
Guy: Uh, yeah, that’s about right.
Chick: Sweet dancing Moses.
–23rd St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: still trying to figure out the logistics…
Black guy: I ain’t saying I love her, but I got feelings for the bitch.
–82nd & 2nd
Overheard by: Rick Segall
Fratboy: Fuck the afterlife. I want my 72 virgins now.
–111th & Broadway
Overheard by: Djlindee
Shoplady on phone: Oh, so did she tell you about her sex? Well, she told me…I mean, she’s ugly but it’s good to know even ugly people can have good imaginary sex.
–Barbara Feinman Millinery, St. Mark’s Place
Overheard by: Sarah C
Jamaican lady: We don’t fuck for enjoyment, we fuck for love.
–Washington Heights
Guy on cell: You had sex with my sister!…Well was she any good?…Where the hell did she learn that nifty trick?
–Times Square
Guy: Oh, you should come by the soup kitchen I run. There are no homeless people. Only real estate people. I used to go…I would go on Wednesday (snaps fingers) and I’d have a date for Saturday.
–Union Squre theatre
Suit: Marriage is so fucking out in banking right now. I was engaged for a while, just because I wanted to plant my seed, you know. But that didn’t work out.
–Wall Street
Overheard by: Black Red Yellow NYC
