Yuppie girl: So yeah, I heard he was on that pill that makes you horny.
Yuppie guy: Allegra?
Yuppie girl: No, dumbass, that’s the one that prostitutes take.
–S train
Overheard by: Glynnis
Yuppie girl: So yeah, I heard he was on that pill that makes you horny.
Yuppie guy: Allegra?
Yuppie girl: No, dumbass, that’s the one that prostitutes take.
–S train
Overheard by: Glynnis
Suit on cell: And your penis is bigger now?
–68th & Lexington
Guy: I’m being totally honest, you guys…I pulled my groin playing ping pong.
–51st & Lexington
Overheard by: Mike Barish
Lady: Well, I don’t think he realized I was a hooker!
–73rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Sandro Olivieri
Girl on cell: So he was a big guy, and he was pretty big, but not that big, but I’m, like, tiny, so we tried, but it wouldn’t go in. Are you listening to me? No, it wouldn’t fit…what could I do? I dropped to my knees and did what I could, but we just won’t work.
–West Broadway & Houston
Overheard by: Darby O’Gill
Mustache: I walked in and it was clearly a gang bang gone awry.
–Dive bar, 96th Street
Woman selling crap on side of road: Come on, let’s go get high, so you can make love to me, so we can get something to eat. Come on.
–Fulton and Gold
Chick: I don’t have any more cigarettes.
Bag lady: I don’t want no cigarette. I ain’t no crack addict. I’m a ho.
–outside Ding Dong Lounge, UWS
Disco-glam drag queen: It was! It was baby oil, and I knew it!
–Rubulad, Bed-Stuy
Overheard by: Katie
Black drag queen in kimono: I'm a corn pone Southern faggot, we do not do yoga.
–Tribeca
Overheard by: Ryan K
Hysterical Latina transvestite: My life is in my ass, mijo!
–2 Train
Overheard by: Jean
Drag queen hooker to older lady staring at her: You so wish you could wear a onesie like me.
–MTA
Woman on cell: I may or may not have just accidentally become a sex worker.
–40th & 9th
Overheard by: McFreaky
Attractive gay man to boyfriend: If I had a better body, I would be a prostitute.
–W 4th & 6th Ave
Overheard by: rpk
Girl to friends: Just slap me! Slap me like a Thai hooker, for god's sake.
–115th & Broadway
Overheard by: columbia undergrad
Five-year-old boy: Mom, what's a gigolo?
–6 Train
Overheard by: Justine
Woman yelling into a cell: For the love of god, I'm sleeping with men for crack. Do you really think that would mess with my list of priorities?
–2nd Ave & Houston
Overheard by: Wonders what the suggestion was
20-something woman on cell: Wait–am I in the sex industry?
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: Poogins
Random woman: I’m a well known prostitute here in New York.
Random man: Oh really? You’re well-known around here?! Says who?!
Random woman: Ask anyone!
–Port Authority Bus Terminal
Overheard by: Paula
Prostitute #1, about gay men leaving bar: Oh, girl, don’t even waste yo’ time. Those two are gay.
Prostitute #2: Goddammit! This neighborhood’s gettin’ so fucked up! I can’t even do my job no more!
–46th & 9th
Overheard by: Dan
Chick: Look, I didn’t paint my toenails red after you made that comment.
Guy: Good, because the only girls who do that are selling their ass on the street.
–14th St & 7th Ave
Teacher: If you were convicted of murder, who would you send to ride to the king to get a pardon?
Student: A rider.
Teacher: Can you spell that? Do you mean a ‘writer’?
Student: R-I-D-E-R — someone who is good with horses.
Teacher: So what is important is his sportsmanship?
Student: Maybe a servant? A friend of the king?
Teacher: What is one of the oldest professions?
Student: A prostitute?
Teacher: A lawyer!
–New York Law School
