Russian lady with tiny, yappy dog: I really wish I could find you work, I really do.
Lonely punk in his mid-30s, sighing: I’m the ugliest man in the world!
–Clinton Heights, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Kenny
Russian lady with tiny, yappy dog: I really wish I could find you work, I really do.
Lonely punk in his mid-30s, sighing: I’m the ugliest man in the world!
–Clinton Heights, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Kenny
Punk #1: I knew this guy once, he had the fetus of his identical twin attached to his shoulder.
Punk #2: I'd cut it off and make a yo-yo out of that shit.
–Rivington & Essex
20-something woman: Is she a bialy in real life?
–Tomo sushi, 110th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ursula & Winifred
Very large black woman on cell phone, bellowing: I don’t do no motherfucking corn bread! Why the fuck you always want corn bread, motherfucker?
–St. Luke’s-Roosevelt Hospital, 114th & Amsterdam
Punk girl to another: I wish I was a muffin. But I’m not. I’m a human.
–B Train
Overheard by: id rather be a cupcake
Black Whole Foods employee to black whole Foods customer: You have to be raised on it, you hear me? I was raised on c-town, key foods. I ain’t gonna pay no 4 dollars for no eggs.
–Union Square Whole Foods
Clueless suit on cell: I’m just really bad at knowing if stuff is perishable or not. I just don’t know. Ok, so ice cream -that’s perishable, right? Butter -non-perishable. Caviar isn’t perishable either… Wait, what? Oh, butter is perishable? Wait, how do you know? Does perishable mean it has to be kept in the fridge? Ok, so does caviar have to be kept in the fridge?
–E 60th St
Angry 20-something on cell phone: Why? Why? Because I can’t eat spaghetti-o’s anymore!
–E 13th St & 1st Ave
Punk teen #1: So, was he molested?
Punk teen #2: No.
Punk teen #1: Oh, thats boring.
–LIRR
NYU punk girl: Whatever. I just don’t like him, okay?
NYU punk guy: I just don’t think him being smelly should have anything to do with it.
–Washington Square Park
Punk girl: So he said he really wants to get me really drunk again.
Punk friend: Why?
Punk girl: Because he said I’m as cute as a Care Bear.
Friend: What the hell does that mean?
Girl: Um, who cares? That’s so sweet… and I didn’t even sleep with him for it. Now help me push up my tits.
–Q Train
Overheard by: Ingss
Young man: I think I hurt my throat when impersonating Mark having an orgasm.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Harmony Davis
Older queer to boyfriend: Uh! Uh! I'm gonna cum! I'm gonna cum! I have to have this record! It's so good! It makes me orgasm!
–W 72nd S, Record Store
Overheard by: Never achieved an orgasm that way…
Punk kid to two friends: I want to pierce my shaft and put different things in it so I can give girls better orgasms.
–West Village
Overheard by: Andy & Nick
Man on pay phone: I want to come all over your cock.
–Astor Place
Overheard by: sofia
Drunk chick, loudly as the bar goes silent: I could make you come with one finger!
–Bar, Fulton St
Overheard by: Izzy
Punk guy #1: That was fierce.
Punk guy #2: Fierce like Tyra Banks.
–Knitting Factory, Leonard Street
Overheard by: Holly Kaye
Punk boy: Which way is Delancey Street?
Stoop guy: That’s Delancey.
Punk girl: Well, they must have moved it then.
–Essex between Delancey & Rivington
Punk chick: Yeah, so my boss totally has this $20,000 rock in his yard.
Hipster chick: No way, like a diamond?
Punk chick: No, like a fucking rock.
–6 train
