Mother: Look! A wedding! They are taking pictures for it.
Son: A girl is marrying a girl?
Mother: No.
Son: Where's the boy?
–Central Park
Overheard by: Dan
Mother: Look! A wedding! They are taking pictures for it.
Son: A girl is marrying a girl?
Mother: No.
Son: Where's the boy?
–Central Park
Overheard by: Dan
Girl: Why do you fuck a sheep at the edge of a cliff? (waits) So the sheep pushes back.
Guy: I don't get it.
Girl: Do I have to explain sheep-fucking to you?!
–Prince & Mercer
Overheard by: Thiess
Local girl: So, how do you like New York?!
Tourist friend, disgusted: Everyone here is ugly and foreign.
–Herald’s Square
Flamboyantly gay guy to gay friends: Why do I have to be the queen? Why can’t I just be regular?!
–Christopher Street
Overheard by: JMcheer
Queer to another: I just want to bury my face in his ass!
–67th & Park Ave
Gay guy on cell: Oooh! I love playing straight!
–1st Ave, East Village
Overheard by: B
Stressed gay worker: They always skip over my lunch break. Everyone else gets their lunch breaks but they always skip over mine. Ugh. Guys, I’m gonna take my 15 minutes. I’m taking my 15 minutes. I close tonight… Ugh, this is not the road to success! (storms off)
–H&M Store
Overheard by: nyu kid
Queer to boyfriend: You know Romy and Michelle? I love that movie… That movie made me gay.
–Restaurant, 19th & 8th
Overheard by: batou187
Queer on cell: I know… I know! Gosh, that is sooo gay!
(bewildered elderly lady looks at him)
Queer to elderly lady (in shrieking voice): Oh my god, oh my god, the faggot said gay!
–Central Park
Nine-year-old boy stocking vegetables: Mommy, why did they make child labor laws?
Mother, hugging son: I don’t know, honey. Maybe because you’re suuuch a sweetie.
–Food Co-Op, Park Slope
Overheard by: such a thing as too much praise
Guard dude #1: There’s a guy over there touching himself again.
Guard dude #2: What, the same one as before?
Guard dude #1: Yeah.
–New York Public Library Main Branch, 42th & 5th
Overheard by: Rob
Two NYU girls are walking downtown and one trips and falls on the street.
Hobo: Did you have a nice trip? I’ll see you next fall!
NYU Girl: Hey…where’s your home?
–Water & Fulton
Yuppie girl #1: So he said he couldn’t date me.
Yuppie girl #2: Why?
Yuppie girl #1: He said he likes to date normal girls.
Yuppie girl #2: What?!
Yuppie girl #1: Yeah, like who likes normal girls?
–Spring St & 6th Ave
Person: So how do you get girls, Mr Lynn?
Mr Lynn: I adopt them.
–Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: Excellence
(bunch of people are buying wedding clothes)
Groom, indicating fly area: It's kind of sticking out over here.
Best man: Oh, you're not used to anything bulging in the front, right?
Groom: Well, I'm getting married, so I don't have to worry about that anymore.
Bride: Yeah, whatever. I know I'm going to stop going to the gym.
–Bridal Showroom, Flushing
Overheard by: Josh
