Nine-year-old boy stocking vegetables: Mommy, why did they make child labor laws?
Mother, hugging son: I don’t know, honey. Maybe because you’re suuuch a sweetie.
–Food Co-Op, Park Slope
Overheard by: such a thing as too much praise
Nine-year-old boy stocking vegetables: Mommy, why did they make child labor laws?
Mother, hugging son: I don’t know, honey. Maybe because you’re suuuch a sweetie.
–Food Co-Op, Park Slope
Overheard by: such a thing as too much praise
Guard dude #1: There’s a guy over there touching himself again.
Guard dude #2: What, the same one as before?
Guard dude #1: Yeah.
–New York Public Library Main Branch, 42th & 5th
Overheard by: Rob
Two NYU girls are walking downtown and one trips and falls on the street.
Hobo: Did you have a nice trip? I’ll see you next fall!
NYU Girl: Hey…where’s your home?
–Water & Fulton
Yuppie girl #1: So he said he couldn’t date me.
Yuppie girl #2: Why?
Yuppie girl #1: He said he likes to date normal girls.
Yuppie girl #2: What?!
Yuppie girl #1: Yeah, like who likes normal girls?
–Spring St & 6th Ave
Person: So how do you get girls, Mr Lynn?
Mr Lynn: I adopt them.
–Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: Excellence
(bunch of people are buying wedding clothes)
Groom, indicating fly area: It's kind of sticking out over here.
Best man: Oh, you're not used to anything bulging in the front, right?
Groom: Well, I'm getting married, so I don't have to worry about that anymore.
Bride: Yeah, whatever. I know I'm going to stop going to the gym.
–Bridal Showroom, Flushing
Overheard by: Josh
Woman: Excuse me, can you tell me something? Do I have a hickey on my neck? I have to go to a lunch and I just want to know if I have a hickey on my neck.
–SoHo
Overheard by: kim
Guy on cell: He shoved his hand in so many crevices that they looked like flippers.
–2nd Ave & Houston
Overheard by: gypsee
Drunk girl: If Bethany doesn't have legs, nobody has legs.
–1 Train
Overheard by: oliviz
Strange woman, seeing another woman massaging pressure points on friend's ear: She has a headache? It starts in the scrotum.
–M14D Bus
Man, missing stop: This is the problem with having a prostate that's bigger than your brain…you always forget to get off.
–Downtown 1 Train
Overheard by: rachel
Girl: She slept with Harry, and she didn't know he only had one hand, and afterward she still didn't know he only had one hand.
–Brother Jimmy's Restaurant
Overheard by: Joe
Drunk girl: Can you put my phone in your pocket?
Friend: But your pants have pockets!
Drunk girl: No, they don’t! That’s just a glitch in the matrix!
–2 train
Bank teller: What state was your account opened in?
Customer: Brooklyn.
–59th & Lex
Overheard by: Captain Finance
Boy teen geek: You know when you push out too much shit you get hemorrhoids?
Girl teen geek: Yeah.
Boy teen geek: Well, that's what he did, pushed out too much shit and got nothing but hemorrhoids!
–Q Train
Overheard by: Blue
