Teenage boy to friend: So when I was walking by the store I saw this guy being dragged out in handcuffs.
Friend: Shit, why didn't you call the cops or something?
–Park Slope
Overheard by: areyouserious?
Teenage boy to friend: So when I was walking by the store I saw this guy being dragged out in handcuffs.
Friend: Shit, why didn't you call the cops or something?
–Park Slope
Overheard by: areyouserious?
Dude #1: …so do you think I can have dibs on her, or is that not a good idea?
Dude #2: What do you mean?
Dude #1: Well, she had an abortion six weeks ago.
Dude #2: Oh dude, what are you doing!?
Dude #1: Yeah, but can't she not get pregnant because she just had an abortion?
Dude #2: Oh, that's a good point. I don't think that works like that…
Dude #1: But it was six weeks ago.
Dude #2: Oh, I thought you said six months ago! Yeah, man, you got a sweet deal there. I can't believe your luck, where do you keep meeting these women!?
–Bathroom, Fordham University
Overheard by: Martin Van Nostrand
Girl, after watching Annie Hall: So, that was your first Woody Allen movie? What did you think?
Guy: It was very Larry David-esque.
–Movies Under the Brooklyn Bridge
Overheard by: Smart Alex/ You Know Nothing of My Work!
50-something woman: Do you have pastrami?
Deli worker: Yes.
50-something woman: Is it good?
Deli worker: Yes.
50-something woman: Okay, then. I'd like a pastrami on rye. Lots of pastrami.
Deli worker: Will that be to stay or to go?
50-something woman: Oh, it's to go home to my husband. Tomorrow is the fifth anniversary of his triple bypass surgery.
–Deli Store
Overheard by: ydnew naej
Drunk hipster: Since when did the vagina become the font of all morality?
–110th & Amsterdam
Girl running in pajamas: Oh my god my vagina is so cold!
–50th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Matt
Girl proclaiming: I saw the vagina.
–NYU
Acting student: You have a vagina and he’s all into that. I have a penis and he’s not all into that. That’s why you have to do this for me.
–Archbold Theater
Overheard by: nice
Crazy black woman: I know my pussy! You don’t know my pussy! Haha! You can’t say you know my pussy, I know my pussy! Haha, hah! If you can’t find my pussy, you can’t say you’re not too big!
–114th & Broadway
Overheard by: Xiao Hoah Dze
Nondescript guy on cell phone: So, were the vaginas ok?
–55th St & 8th
Young Hispanic mother, on Disney princess dresses: So, sweetie, which one do you like the best?
Three-year-old girl: I like Jasmine's.
Young Hispanic mother: Oh yeah, that one's sexy.
Three-year-old girl: Seeeeeeexy.
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: Marina
Guy: Hey, this might sound creepy but I have a picture of you on my wall.
Jon Stewart: That is creepy. Do you live in a comedy club?
–Cupcake Cafe, 18th & 26th
Woman on cell, wearing fuchsia catsuit and clutching stuffed parrot: I’m on the corner of Broadway and 69th in a ridiculous outfit.
–69th & Broadway
Buff guy: You know what they used to call me in jail? “Harry the Robe,” because I wore this beautiful white robe after I took showers.
–Madison Ave
Overheard by: gina
Girl on cell: I swear, if I have my underwear on inside out today I am just going to snap.
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Amused listener
Preppy guy: Is there a philosopher named Kenneth Cole? Because there is this huge billboard with his quote on it.
–Sugar Sweet Sunshine, Rivington between Norfolk & Essex
Guy in black cape and Batman-type mask: No one ever fucks with me when I go out at night rocking this outfit.
–Franklin & Greenpoint, Brooklyn
Overheard by: lil pirate
Girl: Do they even have Prada in Boston? They just have baked beans and Benjamin Franklin, and he’s dead.
–Stanton & Orchard
Girl, walking behind another girl who’s wearing a pink tutu, white stockings, and a tiara: Let her walk alone wearing this on her birthday.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Not Wearing a Tutu
Cop #1: Sir, you need to move along.
Insane hobo: I didn't touch anyone, goddammit! I didn't do nuthin! I don't touch!
Cop #2: Just get the hell outta here.
Cop #1: Please just move along.
Hobo: I didn't do nuthin, goddammit!
Cop #2 to cop #1: Can I pistol whip him?
–Atlantic Avenue Station, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Derek
Man: If you do that, you will be victimizing two men who don't deserve it.
Woman: I will be victimizing two men who don't deserve it?
Man: Yes, you will be victimizing two men who don't deserve it.
Woman: So, I will be victimizing two men who don't deserve it.
Man: Yes, you will be victimizing two men who don't deserve it.
Woman: Well, I really think I'm justified.
Man: Oh, do you really think you're justified?
Woman: Yes, I really think I'm justified.
Man: So you really think you're justified?
Woman: Yes, I really think I'm justified.
–11th St & Perry St
Overheard by: Joe
