Mother to bouncing daughter: No, you can not look in that window! Do you want to be a Peeping Tom?
Daughter: Let me see! Let me see!
–Redhook, Brooklyn
Mother to bouncing daughter: No, you can not look in that window! Do you want to be a Peeping Tom?
Daughter: Let me see! Let me see!
–Redhook, Brooklyn
White volunteer tutor from Princeton: So imagine I'm trying out for the basketball team…
Black student #1: You play basketball?
Black student #2: Do you play tennis?
Black student #1: That's racist!
–Public High School, Queens
Group of friends, singing: Tell me more! Tell me more!
Soloist: Did she poop on your face?
–19th St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Lotte
Well-dressed 60-something crazy white man looking into artsy coffee shop: What movie is this?
30-something white artsy man, smoking: This? This is a coffee shop.
Well-dressed 60-something crazy white man: Yes, yes… But what movie?
–Cafe, Luldow St
Wife: The Titanic sank for hours?!
Husband: No, the sign says the Titanic sank four hours. Over a thousand people died.
Wife: Why didn't they just get on the life boats?
–Titanic Exhibit
Hard hat #1: How'd you know something was wrong?
Hard hat #2: Weak. Tired. Bleedin' out of my fuckin' shit. I knew something was wrong.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: problems of my own
Serious guy to another: See these hands? These are my bread and butter!
–Brooklyn Bridge
Overheard by: Hi-D
Well-dressed 25-year-old on phone: Yes. (pause) Please spare me the placenta. (pause) Okay, well, as long as it's clean.
–Key Foods
Woman on cell: So, she doesn't think her body is going to be ready by then?
–32nd & Park Ave
Overheard by: Publius
Man on cell: I wish I could just take my legs off. That would be so much easier.
–45th St & Ave of the Americas
Loud chick: Yeah, I'm still taking French classes. Last week we did commands, and this week we're learning, like, body parts.
–Hudson St
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
20-something girl on cell: But I have several heads…
–Metro-North Rail
Three-year-old boy to punk girl in black fishnets, as he pokes though holes: Um… why is your legs trapped?
–Thompkins Square Park
Mom on cell: So, she's a drunkard and you're taking her to a wine tasting?
–Park Ave
Overheard by: bad idea
Snooty hipster to girlfriend: This event is missing two things. One is wine and the other is cheese.
–Book Signing, Cobble Hill
Man to woman, looking at a wine list: Sure it's good wine. Brandon buys it by the case and takes it fishing.
–W Hotel Restaurant
Overheard by: Bob Leblaw
Crazy MTA employee lady: If you step over the line you will get a fine! And will not be able to dine on all that boxed wine! The fine, it will not be divine! And then you will whine. So don't step over the yellow line!
–4 Train
Overheard by: also stepped over the line
Theology professor, after struggling with projection screen: This is Satan doing this to me.
–Lincoln Center, Fordham University
Crazy man with bullhorn: Hanukkah is for God, Christmas is for Satan!
–Fordham Plaza
Conductor: This is an uptown a train making all local stops. Yes, you heard right, all local stops. The e train is out of service today, as it is on a vacation to hell. Stand clear of the closing doors, please!
–A Train
Overheard by: Kirstie
Girl yelling to two friends across train: Jay-Z is like a devil worshipper. No, seriously, he's like a Freemason or whatever. They all are: him, Madonna, Britney…
–J Train
Seven-year-old tourist to mother: Are we going somewhere safe where the devil won't get me?
–34th & 28th
Bookish guy: What is a “well drink,” exactly?
Friend: I'm not sure. I've never gotten a straight answer on that.
Bookish guy: I think the bartenders dump all of the liquor they have left over into a well, and they make the drink with that.
Friend: Yeah, that sounds right.
–L Train
Overheard by: WetBandits
