Sure Hope Carlos Likes Kool-Aid

Black guy: Damn! You got a pretty face!
(pretty Latina turns around and ignores him)
Black guy (taking seat halfway down train): Dang! How you going to turn around on me like that?
(pretty Latina ignores him)
Black guy (very loudly): How are you going to turn around like that?
(pretty Latina now looks embarrassed)
Black guy (pulling out guitar from case): This song goes out to the girl with the pretty face! She's over there! With the long hair and the boots!
(people turn and look, pretty Latina looks very embarrassed now)
Black guy (singing to tune of “My Girl”): Come on everyone! Even the white people–join in! (sings) I've got sunshine, on a cloudy day. When it's cold outside, I've got the month of may.
(people start to join in, pretty Latina's friends are cheering and singing)
Black guy (singing): My girl! She's got black boots! The one with the long hair! C'mon girl! If you let me take you home…I'll…I'll…make you some Kool-Aid!
(pretty Latina gets off train)
Black guy: Ah, hell no! (pause). Alright, this one's for the guy with the ball! (pointing to guy with soccer ball under arm) His name's Carlos! He's from Puerto Rico!

–2 Train

Posted on January 8, 2009
Beauty, Black People, Drinks, Friends, Hair, Latinos, Music, On the Subway, Passengers, Physical appearance, Pick-up Lines, Questions, Race, Shoes

Um, That's Elizabeth Taylor

Kid at SantaCon : Mom, what kind of Santa is that?
Mom: Well honey, it looks like a furry snow disco Elvis Santa.

–Madison & 35th

Overheard by: Colleen

Posted on January 8, 2009
Kids, Moms, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Music, Questions, Weirdness

Me Too, Whitney. Me Too.

Preteen girl #1: I love our names. Can you imagine if you were named something boring, like Sarah?
Preteen girl #2: I know, right?
Preteen girl #1: It's like, you call a friend and she tells you she's on the other line with Sarah and you're like “Which Sarah? A, b, c, d or e?” and she tells you, “No, Sarah R.”
Preteen girl #2: Ugh. That reminds me. I hate Sarah R.

–7th Ave, Park Slope

Posted on January 8, 2009
Girls, Gripes, Names, Park Slope, Questions, Tweens

Wednesday One-Liners Don't Know How to Quit You

Tough guy on cell: Yeah, I was at the gay bah. It was two for ones. Whaddayou gonna do? Two for ones!

–Houston & Avenue A

Homeless man in subway station: Gay sex was invented to avoid child support.

–53rd St Subway Station

Overheard by: Billy

Woman on cell: Let me tell you something about this new generation of guys in New York: All gay.

–W 31st & Broadway

Overheard by: A passing gay man

Woman to husband: Not just a gay, but a heroin sheep gay.

–Broadway & 8th

Overheard by: TR

Cop to drunk: Who cares if you're gay? That doesn't give you the right to climb the fire escape.

–W 20th

Posted on January 7, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Cops, Couples, Crime and Punishment, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Family Ties, Gays and Lesbians, Heroin, Hobos, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, On Cell, One-liners, Questions, Sex, Subway stations, platforms, etc., The Village, Thugs, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

George Washington: Man, I was rocking wood grillz before this was even America!

Girl to friend: Hey girl, come over here and let me see your new grillz. (friend comes over and smiles, Flavor Flav style) Daaaamnnnnnnn girl! Where did you get those? They some nice grillz!

–Flatbush Ave & Lincoln Rd

Overheard by: xtina

Posted on January 6, 2009
Body Parts, Brooklyn, Friends, Girls, Physical appearance, Questions

I Mean, That Would Be Unseemly

Jersey chick: I mean, what do I do? He is like all over me but wont have sex with me. What do I do?
Girl peeing in bathroom stall: I think you should just say, “fuck me or you're gay!” I mean, that's what I would do.
Jersey chick: I just don't get it, you know. And seriously, he is the hottest guy I've ever made out with, like hotter than anyone I've ever made out with.
Girl peeing in bathroom stall: I mean seriously, just say, “fuck me or you're gay. If you don't fuck me, you are gay.” that's what I would do.
Jersey girl: But he can't be gay, he's too hot.
Girl peeing in bathroom stall: But there are a lot of hot guys who are gay. It's probably because he's so hot.
Jersey girl: I just don't know what to do. He like comes up to me and is dancing with me and telling me to come home with him. But like, I don't know what to do. I mean, I'm from Jersey! I live in Jersey, I can't just stay with him, can I?
Girl comes out from peeing in bathroom stall: I don't know dude.

–Bar, Park Ave & 27th St

Overheard by: Shawn

Posted on January 5, 2009
B & T, Bars & Clubs, Dancing, Dating, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Questions, Sex

This Season's Most Unlikely Friendship

MTA guy: Okay, folks, everyone out! This train is going out of service! C'mon, mister, off the train! Let's go, let's go!
Hobo, dragging enormous black trash bag: I'm going, man…my bag tore. You got another bag? I need another bag.
MTA guy: You want a bag from me? Damn! They hardly pay me anything, I can barely feed my family, when we go on strike y'all get mad at us, and now you want a bag? Ease up, man, ease up!
(pause)
MTA guy: Hey, man, your pants are falling down.
Hobo: Yeah, I can't keep 'em up.
MTA guy: You know why that is? 'cause you got the baggy fit underneath the boot cut! With the straight cut in between!
Hobo: I used to have an overcoat. I loved that overcoat. You should have seen it. I loved that coat.
MTA guy: You got five coats already! What do you need with another one?
[pauses]Hobo: Hey, you won't believe what I saw on the train the other day.
MTA guy: What's that?
Hobo: A man beatin' up on his lady.
MTA guy: Oh yeah?
Hobo: Yeah. With his shoe.
MTA guy: With his shoe! No way, man.
Hobo: I saw it.
MTA guy: Why didn't you stop him? You should have stopped him!
Hobo: Well… He was a big guy.
MTA guy: You should have stopped him! You should have hit him with your big Santa bag! Why didn't you hit him with your big Santa bag?

–A Train

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Posted on January 5, 2009
9 to 5-ers, Clothing, Hobos, Jobs & Careers, Money & Class, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Questions, Shoes, Violence, Weirdness

What, No “Package” Joke?

Man, after quizzing guy wearing shirt that says “Lay a ghost ceremony”: “Lay a ghost ceremony”? I had to ask. I thought it was sexual.
Woman: I'm glad you did, I was wondering too.
Man: It's because I'm a Scorpio. Everything is sexual to me. Even the US Postal Service box is saying something sexual to me. I mean, come on, “All service window?” You can't tell me that doesn't sound sexual.
(woman gets her package and leaves)
Man: Have a good day! Don't forget about the all service window!

–Post Office, 14th St & 1st Ave

Overheard by: Erin

Posted on January 5, 2009
Clothing, Men, Post Office, Questions, Sex, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness, Women

It Was His Valentine's Gift to Me This Year

Office chick #1: So you liked the movie Waiting, right?
Office chick #2: Yep.
Office chick #1: Remember “the goat”?
Office chick #2: Yeah, junk stuffed between his legs and displayed from behind!
Office chick #1: Yeah, my husband just came up with a new one called “the heart”!
Office chick #2: What's that?
Office chick #1: He grabs his sack, pulls it up over his dick, and spreads the skin out at the top, so it kinda looks like a heart.
Office chick #2: Yeah?
Office chick #1: Then he tenses up his dick a few times so that it looks like the heart is beating.
Office chick #2: Cool.

–McDonald's

Posted on January 4, 2009
9 to 5-ers, Coworkers, Movies, Penis, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Sex, Weirdness

Just Using the Old Noodle

Girl #1: Oh my god! Who's cooking Ramen!?
Girl #2: I am.
Girl #1: You *totally* read my mind!

–Fordham University, Bronx

Overheard by: Jess McGins

Posted on January 4, 2009
Ethnic Food, Fordham, Girls, Questions, The Bronx

Questions