Wednesday One-Liners Won’t Remember This Tomorrow

Loud, shit-faced Asian girl to strangers: You want some of this? I mean, don’t get me wrong. I love sex. [falls forward, taps stranger on forehead.] herro! Anybody home?! [laughs hysterically].

–Metro North

Drunk chick: Fuck technology, first it kills the bees, now it’s killing my ovaries!

–A Train

Drunk guy: Last night I shit on my balls!

–Williamsburg

Overheard by: Confabulation Nation

Drunk girl to drunk boyfriend: Well, you fingered me in the cab!

–A Train

Drunk preppy businessman: Just tell her to put the oil in the noodles and rub it all over the chest…

–33rd & Broadway

Overheard by: voluptuousgrl

Drunk girl in the bathroom, picking up plastic bag from the garbage: Whose baby is this?!?!

–Madison Square Garden Bathroom

Posted on December 2, 2019
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Asians, Babies, Balls, Cars and Driving, Drunks, Girlfriends, Girls, Guys, Hand-Jobs, Health and Hygiene, Laughter, Madison Square Garden, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Poop, Preppies, Public Transportation, Questions, Stall Spies, Street, Suits, Trains Not Subway, Weirdness, Williamsburg

Wait ‘Til You Get Lost in Tokyo, Smart Guy

Asian tourist with map out, blocking walking crowd: Excuse me, I’m looking for Houston street…
Suit, with high-pitched sarcasm: Really? [He keeps walking.]

–Houston & Broadway

Overheard by: a

Posted on November 29, 2019
Asians, Assholes, Default, Directions, Questions, Street, Suits, The Village, Tourism, Tourists

Notice He Didn’t Say Williamsburg

Art store guy #1: No, I don’t know where it is…Hey, does anyone know where there’s an art show this weekend? This guy on the phone wants to know.
Art store guy #2: Tell him SoHo and hang up.

–Utrecht, 4th Avenue

Overheard by: Jason

Posted on November 27, 2019
9 to 5-ers, Advice, Bars & Clubs, Coworkers, NYC Geography, Questions, Visual Art

I Know — The Color Purple?! What Kinda Fag Shit Is That??

Teen Girl to friend: I'd much rather he got turned on by his two friends than a Broadway show. I mean, how *gay* would that be?

–Boardwalk, Brighton Beach

Posted on November 26, 2019
Broadway Shows, Brooklyn, Friends, Friendship, Gays and Lesbians, Horny, Questions, Teens

Reader Poll: Is This a Drug Deal?

Suit, stopping in front of random thug: Dubai?
Thug: Dubai.
Suit: Dubai?
Thug: Dubai!
Suit: Dubai?!
Thug: Dubai, motherfucker! Dubai!

–31st & 6th

Overheard by: MrMark

Posted on November 22, 2019
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Global Geography, Insults, Questions, Suits, Thugs, Weirdness

Kids Say the Stupidest Things

A little boy sees his mom’s reflection in the window.

Boy: Mommy, are you a ghost?

–2 Train

Posted on November 22, 2019
Kids, On the Subway, Questions, Vampires, Ghouls, and Ghosts, oh my!

Wait! Is It Going Above 137th Street?

White chick #1: Excuse me, is there an uptown train to 168th at this station?
White chick #2: Yeah, but the subways aren't running above 137th, they've cut the power lines. Take the M4 up Broadway.
White chick #1: Okay, but there is an uptown 1 train at this station, correct?
White chick #2: Yes, but at the moment it's not working. They kicked us off at 137th and told us to take the bus.
White chick #1: So there isn't an uptown train at this station?
White chick #2: (silence, walks away)

–137th & Broadway