Suit, stopping in front of random thug: Dubai?
Thug: Dubai.
Suit: Dubai?
Thug: Dubai!
Suit: Dubai?!
Thug: Dubai, motherfucker! Dubai!
–31st & 6th
Overheard by: MrMark
Suit, stopping in front of random thug: Dubai?
Thug: Dubai.
Suit: Dubai?
Thug: Dubai!
Suit: Dubai?!
Thug: Dubai, motherfucker! Dubai!
–31st & 6th
Overheard by: MrMark
A little boy sees his mom’s reflection in the window.
Boy: Mommy, are you a ghost?
–2 Train
White chick #1: Excuse me, is there an uptown train to 168th at this station?
White chick #2: Yeah, but the subways aren't running above 137th, they've cut the power lines. Take the M4 up Broadway.
White chick #1: Okay, but there is an uptown 1 train at this station, correct?
White chick #2: Yes, but at the moment it's not working. They kicked us off at 137th and told us to take the bus.
White chick #1: So there isn't an uptown train at this station?
White chick #2: (silence, walks away)
–137th & Broadway
Girl #1: Do you like money? Cause I like money!
Girl #2: I like money, I really like money!
Girl #3: No, no, no, I love money! I love it!
–6th Ave & 26th St, Outside Nightspot
Overheard by: Lynchbeast
Professor guy: I am not taking questions now! I will take questions after class.
Student dude: …Excuse me, who are you talking to?
–Vanderbilt Hall, Washington Square South
Tattoo guy on platform: Where are all the f trains?
Conductor: The early bird catches the worm…
Tattoo guy: What?
Conductor: The early bird catches the worm…
Tattoo guy: You better start fuckin making sense, asshole.
Conductor: Sorry, I don't come from that way.
–E Train
Girl to friend: I can't believe you broke a nail on your own ass hair!
–Church & Chambers
Three-year-old boy to another: I like you but I don't like your baby because your baby grabbed my hair.
–Central Park, Great Lawn
Girl: Oh, I'm so glad this is all working out. (gets up and sees her reflection) Fuck! Why didn't you tell me my hair looked like a dead beaver?
–Prince St Cafe
Overheard by: It DID
Black woman to infant held by her mother: Where did you get all of that hair? I want some of that hair. (pats her head) This ain't my hair, I could really use yours.
–Harlem Polling Station
Overheard by: Joe
Girl yelling into cell: He's not even hairy!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Well then why do they call him that?
Chick: I thought we were made for each other, but he's too bearded.
–113th St
Overheard by: Ursula & Winifred
Mother, after mayor Bloomberg goes by: Was that Rudy?
Daughter: Giuliani? You really don't know what Rudy Giuliani looks like?
Mother: No.
Daughter: This is almost as bad as the time you said you don't know what Darfur is.
Mother: I still don't.
–Columbus Day Parade
Bland middle-aged woman: It's not like you're giving head in the Port Authority bathroom!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: j
English tourist: You'll go home and people will ask: "So what did you do on holiday?" You'll reply: "Oh, I gave the Empire State Building a blowjob!"
–34th St
Guy on cell: Ugh, fuck me in the ass. No… no, not you. Meanie. Why don't you just suck my dick. Suck my dick!
–34th Street
Dude on cell: It was like getting a blowjob from the inside.
–8th Ave & 53rd St
Guy on cell: Is that the guy that's been sucking your dick?
–81st & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Kelley
Young guy on cell: And then I said: "I could really use a blowjob right now." She was offended!
–48th & Park
Young black man to friend: Just because she sucks my dick doesn't make her Oprah Winfrey.
–B48 Bus
