Asian girl: Let’s get sushi.
Asian guy: I don’t like sushi.
Asian girl: You don’t like sushi? What kind of Asian are you?
Asian guy: Chinese.
Asian girl: But there’s even white people who like sushi!
–NYU
Overheard by: I like sushi
Asian girl: Let’s get sushi.
Asian guy: I don’t like sushi.
Asian girl: You don’t like sushi? What kind of Asian are you?
Asian guy: Chinese.
Asian girl: But there’s even white people who like sushi!
–NYU
Overheard by: I like sushi
Thug: I love you because when I'm with you I feel like I'm Barack Obama and you're Hillary Clinton.
–N Train
All-black-wearing chick with cigarette: Do you ever find yourself thinking really conservative thoughts by accident?
–Outside International Affairs Building, Columbia University
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Subway crazy: Rip Torn for president! Denny McLain for Secretary of State!
–Uptown 6 Train
Girl with baby in her arms: You know, he taped an Obama poster on his door and I was like, "Oh no, you didn't put that up." 'cause he don't know nothing about politics. Hell, he a felon…he can't even vote.
–East Village Urban Outfitters
Five-year-old boy pointing at a sidewalk mural of Hillary and Obama: Mom, look, Hillary! (long pause) And some guy.
–106th & Broadway
Overheard by: Kip
Grumpy old man: Things have been going downhill since the Wilson administration.
–70th & Columbus
Overheard by: Devoted Puppy
Loud, shit-faced Asian girl to strangers: You want some of this? I mean, don’t get me wrong. I love sex. [falls forward, taps stranger on forehead.] herro! Anybody home?! [laughs hysterically].
–Metro North
Drunk chick: Fuck technology, first it kills the bees, now it’s killing my ovaries!
–A Train
Drunk guy: Last night I shit on my balls!
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Drunk girl to drunk boyfriend: Well, you fingered me in the cab!
–A Train
Drunk preppy businessman: Just tell her to put the oil in the noodles and rub it all over the chest…
–33rd & Broadway
Overheard by: voluptuousgrl
Drunk girl in the bathroom, picking up plastic bag from the garbage: Whose baby is this?!?!
–Madison Square Garden Bathroom
Asian tourist with map out, blocking walking crowd: Excuse me, I’m looking for Houston street…
Suit, with high-pitched sarcasm: Really? [He keeps walking.]
–Houston & Broadway
Overheard by: a
Art store guy #1: No, I don’t know where it is…Hey, does anyone know where there’s an art show this weekend? This guy on the phone wants to know.
Art store guy #2: Tell him SoHo and hang up.
–Utrecht, 4th Avenue
Overheard by: Jason
Teen Girl to friend: I'd much rather he got turned on by his two friends than a Broadway show. I mean, how *gay* would that be?
–Boardwalk, Brighton Beach
Suit, stopping in front of random thug: Dubai?
Thug: Dubai.
Suit: Dubai?
Thug: Dubai!
Suit: Dubai?!
Thug: Dubai, motherfucker! Dubai!
–31st & 6th
Overheard by: MrMark
A little boy sees his mom’s reflection in the window.
Boy: Mommy, are you a ghost?
–2 Train
White chick #1: Excuse me, is there an uptown train to 168th at this station?
White chick #2: Yeah, but the subways aren't running above 137th, they've cut the power lines. Take the M4 up Broadway.
White chick #1: Okay, but there is an uptown 1 train at this station, correct?
White chick #2: Yes, but at the moment it's not working. They kicked us off at 137th and told us to take the bus.
White chick #1: So there isn't an uptown train at this station?
White chick #2: (silence, walks away)
–137th & Broadway
