Dad: Pee! [Kid starts crying loudly.] Shut up and pee, goddammit!
–Bathroom, Shea Stadium
Overheard by: Jesse Y C
Dad: Pee! [Kid starts crying loudly.] Shut up and pee, goddammit!
–Bathroom, Shea Stadium
Overheard by: Jesse Y C
Buff dude: It’s, like, science fiction, man! I could summon a fireball in my hand right now! It’s fuckin’ science fiction!
Friend: Yeah… You might wanna start smaller.
–Shea Stadium
Overheard by: verbena
Teen boy #1: We’ve had three or four pregnancy scares.
Teen boy #2: What?!
Teen boy #1: Yeah. One time it turned out she just skipped her period… But it just feels so good to finish inside! It feels heavenly. It’s probably what it feels like to meet God.
–Shea Stadium
Overheard by: Taylor
Girlfriend: Ugh, I have the worst taste in my mouth.
Boyfriend: That’s ’cause you’re a whore.
Girlfriend: … I don’t get it.
Boyfriend: Your mouth tastes bad ’cause you suck too much cock.
Girlfriend: Oh my god! You’re such an asshole!
Boyfriend: I love you, baby.
–Shea Stadium
Overheard by: sweetpea
Father: Look at this — the bottle is sweating!
Six-year-old girl: It’s condensation, Dad.
–Shea Stadium
Overheard by: GL
Skater kid: What’s the point of being gay if you like girls who dress like boys?
–42nd St, between 7th & 8th Ave
Lady on phone: Yeah, she was working at a factory, but she was passing as a man… Well, she didn’t last a week at the factory.
–Bus in Lincoln Tunnel
TA: We live in a two-gender system of society. There’s no green ‘It’s a hermaphrodite!’ balloon to put out on your front lawn.
–NYU Silver Center
Overheard by: Limey
Chick: I mean, I feel frumpy here. For real. I’m sick of being like, ‘That guy is skinnier than me, has on nicer jeans, and has better makeup.’
–26th St
Overheard by: agrees with that girl
College student on cell: Great, I’ll see you soon. Can I be dressed as a woman?
–114th & Broadway
Mom to very young son: Some things are for boys, and some things are for girls. It was cute when you were little, but now it’s time to differentiate.
–Target, Atlantic Ave, Brooklyn
Guy #1: Naw, naw, naw, naw, naw!
Guy #2: Dis game aint no thang. Think about it man. How many brothers you see out here?
Guy #1: How about the cuz sittin’ at first base?
Guy #2: Yo, he Spanish.
–Shea Stadium
Overheard by: Terrence Reasons
Kid: Excuse me, can you get Floyd to sign something for me?
Security guard: No. Floyd hates kids.
–Shea Stadium
Overheard by: Silent K
Cotton-candy vendor: Cotton candy! Get your cotton candy!
Belligerent Mets fan: Get that pink shit away from me!
–Upper deck, Shea Stadium
