Wednesday One-Liners: Cha-ching!

Guy on cell: Don’t play games with me or I’ll break your fuckin’ nose. Have you got the money? Where’s the fuckin’ money?

–47th & 5th

Overheard by: Adam Bertocci

Ghetto kid on cell: Yo, yo, you don’t want to play football? …Right, right, so just when you tackle them, put your hand in their pockets and take their money!

–M14 bus

Hobo: God, lady, I’m not asking for a million dollars; I’m just asking for some change!

–14th between 5th & University

Overheard by: theNJl

Biker dude: She’s a shrink and a psychiatrist, so you know she’s rollin’ in money.

–Starbucks, 27th & Park

Overheard by: Brawny McBrawnerson

Posted on March 19, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Bus, Crime and Punishment, Fighting and ass kicking, Hobos, Homeless, Jobs & Careers, Kids, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Nose Job, On Cell, On the Bus, People, Places, Psychology, Restaurants & Cafes, Rich people, Starbucks, Thievery, Threats, Topics, Union Square and East Village, Venues, Violence

She Blames Sex and the City for That, Too

Hyper JAP: So then I was like, "Hey, you can’t just sleep with me in your mom’s house and then leave, because I don’t even know your mom and I don’t care if she’s away."
Bored JAP: Right?
Hyper JAP: I blame Sex and the City for this.
Guy sitting nearby: Hey, blame it on you being a slut! Damn.

–Starbucks, 38 Park Row

Overheard by: Katelyn

Posted on March 13, 2015
JAPs, Sex, Starbucks, TV, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

And My Crayons

Tourist man: Use that postcard for Bill and Lisa*.
Tourist woman: Ugh, I’ll have to use my big writing.

–Starbucks

Posted on March 8, 2015
Gripes, Starbucks, Tourists

NewsFlash: New Yorker “Tries to Be a Kinda Nice to People.”

Nerdy guy #1 to barista: Thanks.
Nerdy guy #2, sincerely: Wow, that was nice.
Nerdy guy #1: Well, every now and then I try to be kinda of nice to people, ya know?
Nerdy guy #2: I hear that, heat on 'em and then beat on 'em.
Nerdy guy #1: Mmm-hmm.

–Starbucks

Posted on March 7, 2015
Anger Management, Baristas, Nerds, Only in New York, Starbucks

Starbucks: Where Six of One is Not a Half-Dozen of the Other

Employee: Ma’am, can I help you?
Woman: I’d like a half dozen of your chocolate chip cookies.
Employee: We only sell them, like, 1, 2, 3…
Woman to friend: Is she serious?
Friend: She’ll take 6.

–Starbucks, Rockefeller Center Concourse

Posted on March 5, 2015
Baristas, Education, Favorites, Food, Junk Food & Fast Food, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, People, Places, Restaurants & Cafes, Shopping, Starbucks, Stupidity, Topics, Venues, Women

What Arthur Got Was More of an Expectoresso

Customer: I’ll have a large espresso.
Barista: Coffee?
Customer: No, black tar heroin!
Barista: Right away, sir.

–Starbucks, Staten Island

Posted on February 26, 2015
Baristas, Coffee, Customers, Starbucks, Staten Island

Wake Up and Smell the Coffee, Honey!

Girl #1: Yeah, I guess I should have seen it coming. I mean, he bought himself like every season of the Gilmore Girls. Nothing straight about that.
Girl #2: My boyfriend likes the Gilmore Girls.
Girl #1. Oh, well, yeah… I mean, it is a pretty good show.
Girl #2: He really has the hots for Lorelai.
Girl #1: Yeah, okay.

–Starbucks