Store

Wednesday Undie-Liners

College girl on cell: So as of last weekend I've pledged to be celibate for a year…although on second thought, it should really start today. I got pretty trashed last night and this morning I couldn't find the underwear I was wearing yesterday.

–Church St

Overheard by: Emma

20-something woman: Did you enjoy the bra fitting? Old lady grab your bits?

–Outside Town Shop

Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy

Elderly woman examining bras: What's with all this padding? I got my own damn titties!

–H&M, 5th Ave

Overheard by: titti-less

Eight-year-old in a suit jacket on cell, strutting around the store: Did you see any hot, sexy girls? Yeah, but were they hot and sexy? Where are you, man? Are you still in the underwear aisle? Yeah, but are you still by the panties? (louder) The panties!

–Barnes & Noble, Tribeca

Overheard by: emdeebee

Trashy girl walking funny: Well, I guess I should have worn underwear.

–Arthur Ave

Nice Hat, Though

Preppy guy #1: Oh, man, I can’t believe you. You’re just such a… a gay cowboy.
Preppy guy #2: Haha, Brian’s* not a cowboy.
Brian*: Oh, thanks, dude. Thanks.

–Macy’s

Overheard by: greg

Last Time I Did That, I Made a Mess of the Stockroom

Employee #1: It’s just that the customers get really pissed off when we do that.
Employee #2: Fuck the customers!
Employee #1: Oh. Yeah.

–Outside Store, 125th Street, Harlem

Overheard by: Maggie

Really?

Lady: Excuse me, do you sell phone cards to Africa?
Cashier: Let me check. (looks around)
Guy at the beer cooler: Man, they ain't got no phones in Africa!

–Convienance Store, 45th & 8th

Overheard by: Joe

And “Bowl” Just Sounds Dirty

Hipster girl #1: Hey, get this one! It’s about the Dust Bowl!
Hipster girl #2: Ew, no.
Hipster girl #1: Why not?
Hipster girl #2: Because I hate the word ‘dust.’ It’s so sad.

–Strand Bookstore

Overheard by: Ahall

Wednesdays Make You Want to Have One-Liners of Your Own

Little white boy to frustrated black nanny who is trying to hail a cab: My daddy always gets a taxi!

–Houston & Broadway

Overheard by: Dan

Little boy: This place is like a dead zoo.

–American Museum of Natural History

Four-year-old boy: Yo, this sofa is mad comfy!

–Used Furniture Store, Staten Island

Four-year-old boy: That’s enough, I’m calling Interpol!

–A Train

Overheard by: Swarles

Little girl to mom after terrible Skyride attraction: Mommy, can we never do this again?
(random guy behind her starts laughing) Stop it! Stop laughing at me!

–Empire State Building

Overheard by: Claire

Eight-year-old boy: This museum is inappropriate.

–The Metropolitan Museum of Art, Greek & Roman Sculpture Wing

Overheard by: Taylor

Circulation Department. How Can I Direct Your Underwear?

Salesgirl: And, with this purchase, you get a free set of panties. What size would you like?
Girl #1: Oh, really? Cool. Medium, please.
Girl #2: How are you a size 4 in pants and an extra-small in shirts but a medium in underwear?
Girl #1: Well, underwear always run true to size. You can’t kid yourself into thinking you look skinny when your thongs are cutting off circulation to your labia.

–Express, 34th & 7th

Overheard by: I would have to agree

Knit One, Pearly Gates Two

Woman #1: This sweater is 80 dollars?! My grandmother could knit this!
Woman #2: Wow, really?
Woman #1: Well, no, she’s dead… But you know what I mean.

–The Gap

Two for Me, Dumb for You

Girl #1: What should I get? Milky Way or a Twix?
Girl #2: Get the Twix, there’s a cookie in it so you’ll burn more calories by chewing that.

–Kmart, Penn Station

Or You Wish Tina Fey Paid That Much Attention to You?

Male employee #1: I wish I was more like Sarah Palin.
Male employee #2: You mean, you wish you was a female? Or you wish you were a Republican politician?

–Target Store

Overheard by: amalthya

© 2026 OverheardinNewYork.com
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist