Tourist guy: Where are you from?
Female waitress: Sri Lanka.
Tourist guy: Oh, I've always wanted to go to India.
Female waitress: Did you really just say that?
–Times Square Bakery
Overheard by: trey
Tourist guy: Where are you from?
Female waitress: Sri Lanka.
Tourist guy: Oh, I've always wanted to go to India.
Female waitress: Did you really just say that?
–Times Square Bakery
Overheard by: trey
Girl to friend: Oh, my God, I think I just left the most embarrassing thing in the bathroom.
–Barnes & Noble
Overheard by: V
Woman to roommate: When we get home, we'll have embarrassing sexual accidents!
–Pathmark, Massapequa
Overheard by: Are they really accidents if you plan ahead?
Nerdy TA: The thesis talk is kind of like the sex talk. It's a little embarrassing, no one really wants to give it, but it'll make you grow as adults.
–Columbia University
Girl to friend: I'm not embarrassed that I peed in his bed. I'm just not.
–Columbia University
Girl on cell: I saw it and I thought, "how embarrassing would it be riding on a bike with a nun."
–Grand Central
Overheard by: galgal
Girl #1: Oh, I thought it was a purse.
Girl #2: Yeah, but I like it as a skirt, too.
–Urban Outfitters
Overheard by: sweetchuck
CCNY student: I've always thought he has psychological problems. (pause) Like, he's one of those people that has to flip the light switch 17 times or the whole world dies.
–Hallway, CCNY
Overheard by: ladyliver
Suit on cell: She is trying to get a good education so that she can pay for therapy later on.
–1250 Broadway
Loud male customer counting out packets of chewing tobacco: One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Six! Ever since I quit my job at Sesame Street, I can't seem to live my life. Kermit is my shrink, so of course I'm screwed…
–Smoke Shop, Park Slope
Overheard by: Kiri
Dude hanging up his cell: Oh my god, I think all Jewish girls need therapy.
–Good Stuff Diner, 14th St
Overheard by: Kosi
Suit on cell: Dude, I know, but like, you either get help, or you're normal. (pause) No, dude, pick one, get help or be normal. Damn.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Sarah
History teacher to class: Does that make you uncomfortable? Because I know I'm mental.
–Bronx High School of Science
Overheard by: Lillian
Tiny elderly woman, angrily: I want some comfortable shoes that I can walk in!
Salesman: Oh, but we have so many…
Tiny elderly woman: I can't decide like that! Brands! Give me one brand!
Salesman: Mephisto.
Tiny elderly woman: No! Not Mephisto!
–Shoestore, W 72nd St
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Pushy black woman to employee standing next to portrait studio samples: The next time I come in here, I want to see my daughter's picture up here, because she is beautiful.
–K-Mart, 34th St
Overheard by: EthanK
Guy: There were some pictures taken, involving, like, my penis and Caleb's penis and five other guys.
–4th St & 2nd Ave
Girl: Food is overrated, let's just take a picture and leave.
–100th St & Broadway
Hipster punk girl on phone: Hello? (pause) No, but I know a girl if you're looking. She also puts jelly on her toes. (pause) Who? I once sold a semi-nude photo of myself at an art show once. I think Brendan has a copy of it… no one would ever pay to see my feet. But again, I ask, who were you talking to? (pause) Dave was under the impression that I sold pictures of my extremities for money? That's awesome! I'm going to send him a picture of my elbow!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Ayenbird
Guy: The more bodies, the more pictures. That's what I always say.
–14th St & 7th Ave
Woman walking into apartment building: Why did I get stuck carrying the bag of butt plugs?
–Greenpoint Ave
Hot girl on cell: You won't die if you get stabbed by a dildo. (pause) Well, even if it was a hooker. What did you drink?
–Cook St & Bushwick Ave
Overheard by: cameo
Homie on BlackBerry; No, no, peep this, I said "cock ring" and she says, "like the guy from the OJ trial?" I'm dead serious!
–Rockafeller Plaza
Attractive 20-something to friend: Got hit with a sex toy!
–Pillow Fight, Union Square
Overheard by: Anna P.
Girl to four friends: And then I saw my old wooden dildo. It was wooden!
–37th St & 8th Ave
20-something girl: This is the most exciting thing to happen today! And that's saying something, considering today was a day that included buying sex toys!
–Topshop
Girl #1: But I've been eating so much lately!
Girl #2: Rachel. You are not pregnant.
Girl #1: Yes I ammmmm! (flails arms)
Girl #2: This reminds me of the time you were drunk and tried to run into traffic.
–Outside Virgin Records, 14th St
Hipster girl: Oh my god, I knew Art Spiegelman was going to be involved in this story, somehow!
–Barnes & Noble, 66th & Broadway
