Man: How’s this?
Woman: Like that, but way more sequins. It’s got to catch the eye!
–Kohl’s, Bay Parkway, Brooklyn
Man: How’s this?
Woman: Like that, but way more sequins. It’s got to catch the eye!
–Kohl’s, Bay Parkway, Brooklyn
Girl #1: I can’t wait ’til we get to college. We’re going to be different people. And, like, we’re going to be the best dressed people on campus. We’re gonna be awesome!
Girl #2: Yeah. No one will dress better than us!
Girl #1: Yeah. So awesome!
–Macy’s dressing room, 34th St
Overheard by: evie24
Girl on cell: … That basically means your mother’s a whore.
–WaMu Bank, Staten Island
Overheard by: staten’s most hated
Guy: My mom was yelling at me, and at that moment I became aware of my consciousness. I mean, I really became aware of my being! I was at the top of the stairs, just thinking about the universe. That’s when I knew I really existed.
–Westway Diner
Thug: I’m gonna smack my mother’s monkey!
–Union Square
Overheard by: confabulation Nation
Employee on intercom: Yo’ mama, call extension 319*. Yo’ mama, 319.
–TJ Maxx, 6th Ave
Punk rocker to punk girlfriend: My mother knows what you are.
–11th & 1st
Young boy skipping by elevators, singing: Step on a crack and you break your mother’s back… [Begins stomping] Take that, mother! And that, mother! And that, mother…!
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: SBS
Chick #1: What do you think of Mao Zedong?
Chick #2: I don’t know… He’s from China…
–Jennifer Convertibles, 20th & Broadway
Little boy to costumed Geoffrey: You want some fried chicken? Here, have some KFC.
–Times Square, Toys “R” Us
Overheard by: i’m just here for the lego ninjas
Daughter: Oh, Mom! Look, there goes all those comic books kids are reading.
Mother: That’s a cult. Hurry up the escalator.
–Comic book section, Borders, 33rd & 7th
Guy: I was in Vegas with my mother, and she was complaining that she was the only flat-chested girl in the city, but flat is totally in right now.
Girl: Flat’s been in since I was, like, thirteen.
–Macy’s
Overheard by: katieb
Female clerk: Do we have Skinny Bitch down here?
Queer clerk: Oh, I don’t know. What does she look like?
Female clerk: It’s a book.
Queer clerk: Oh, we have books here, too.
–Barnes & Noble
