College guy #1: So then I was like: “Whoa, that's a giant fucking bunny.”
College guy #2: Dude, are you high?
College guy #1: …yeah
College guy #2: Wanna go to the zoo?
College guy #1: Do they have bunnies?
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Angel
Tourist #1: Guys… The floor is sparkling!
Tourist #2: Ooooooooooh!!!
–Times Square
Sleazy guy: I love going to my dentist, the new one. The hygienist holds my hand while they’re giving me a shot. She talks to me. She pets me like a chinchilla. It’s fantastic.
–Elevator, 360 Park Avenue South
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Old man with pet lizard: Thirty-four years ago we got married. She had dental coverage. It’s very easy to find a girl with medical coverage… Dental, not so easy.
–77th St & 37th Ave, Jackson Heights
Overheard by: Gail Montemayor
Blonde tween: they usually take out 2 teeth before they put on the braces. They took 4 of mine. It felt great! I wanted ’em to take all of mine and be all gums.
–D Train
Overheard by: Going to keep those wisdom teeth a bit longer
Girl on cell: So I was able to brush my teeth without feeling like I was going to puke.
–77th and 2nd
Cleaning woman on cell phone: She is a butterface. You know, everything’s lookin’ good but her face. Her body is nice, but she has some ugly-ass, skanky ass face. I told her she ain’t gonna get no man without any teeth in her face. I told her she’s gotta get some nice grilles put all up in there.
–Atlantic Mall
Overheard by: jsillyfun
Ghetto girl spouting knowledge to friend: Sometimes, you just gotta bite your teeth, and turn the other head…
–4 train
Guy on acid: I can’t get the taste of teeth out of my mouth!
–Riverside Park
Overheard by: LSB
High chick: Now, I love ass, don’t get me wrong. But it’s not all I think about when I think about baseball. I mostly think about triangles.
Dude: Huh?
High chick: Baseball.
Dude: Triangles.
High chick: They’re both trapezoids.
Dude: What the fuck?
High chick: I don’t know. My point is, I hate girls.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Bruce
Male passenger: Man, come on, move the bus! There’s a fucking war in Iraq, and I have to take two more buses! There’s a war in Iraq, and I have to take two more buses!
Female passenger: What, to get there?
–Q76 bus
Overheard by: Samn
Little girl #1: …and their eyes became red and they started laughing at random things!
Little girl #2: Hahaha. Let’s get out of here!
Both girls run away, laughing, down the street.
–Henry & Orange, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: CapitalJ
Sorority girl: No, really. My brother took acid, thought he could fly, and jumped out our second story window. This really happened.
–Columbia University Library
Overheard by: Michael Niederman
Hipster guy: I love fried chicken and cocaine.
–11th & B
Guy: Yeah, alcohol…It’s my anti-drug.
–45th & 9th
Overheard by: teo
Third baseman: What’s so funny?
Benched teammate: I’m high, retard. Everything’s fuckin’ funny.
–145th & Lenox Avenue softball field
Bronx Science boy: I have pixie sticks.
Bronx Science girl: I love pixie sticks. Have you ever tried to snort them?
Bronx Science boy: Yeah, once I snorted a lot because I wanted to get high and my nose started gushing blood.
–1/9 train
Overheard by: chella
Ho: …no, really. Like, I have really been trying to win his trust back. I’ve been doing everything! I even deleted all my ex-boyfriends’ screen names from all my IM accounts, right in front of him! I don’t know what else I could do to make him trust me again…
–Lehman College
Overheard by: Soro
