Wednesday One-Liners Write Off Nipple Tassels on Their Income Taxes

Father to son: Well, I guess she’ll just have to become a stripper…

–Times Square

Overheard by: Lezbitron

Girl on phone: I guess we should go ahead with the strippers and do it.

–Whole Foods, Columbus Circle

Overheard by: MG

Middle-aged woman: I don’t know. I mean, can you put a 20 in the G-string?

–Metro-North, Harlem Line

Frat boy: Hey, man, belly dancers ain’t strippers. I learned that the hard way.

–AMC Theaters, Lincoln Center

Girl to pal: Well, where do you want your ashes spread? A strip club?

–12th & 3rd

Overheard by: Talia

Posted on March 5, 2008
Advice, Compare/Contrast, Dads, Death, Default, Frat Boys, Girls, Grocery Stores, Movie Theaters, On the Subway, Questions, Strippers, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Women, Words

Which I Still Maintain Was an Accident

Law student, about class: Man, I just wish they didn’t give it a sexy title like ‘International Cartel Enforcement’ and then have it turn out to be about how many copies of a paper to file.
Friend: Yeah, man. That’s like going into a strip club and finding out that it’s dudes stripping.

–Fordham Law School

Posted on October 2, 2007
Fordham, Gender issues, Jobs & Careers, Lawyers, School and studying, Strippers, Students

I Don’t Need to Take This from a Pregnant Stripper

Angry girl: What do you mean you didn’t fuck up?
Boyfriend: I didn’t fuck up!
Angry girl: You got a stripper pregnant! You fucked up!

–Sandwich shop, Bleecker

Overheard by: Catie

Posted on October 2, 2007
Anger Management, Assholes, Couples, Fighting and ass kicking, Gripes, Idiots, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Restaurants & Cafes, Strippers

You’re the Worst Agent I’ve Ever Had

Korean girl: I just can’t stand it when they have an Asian fetish. Grosses me out.
Suit: Well, maybe you should stop being a stripper.

–46th & 10th

Overheard by: Chris

Posted on June 7, 2007
Advice, Girls, Kink, Koreans, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Race, Strippers, Suits

Wednesday One-Liners Are Working Their Way Through Grad School

Suit on cell: Like, she’s not a masseuse and she’s not a stripper, you know what I mean? I want her to be, but she’s not… I can always go to a masseuse parlor or a strip club, you know what I mean?

–110th, between Broadway & Amsterdam

Hobo: Anyone got some change? Or some food? Anyone? Does anyone have anything they want to help me out with? I’m jobless and times are hard… Damn, I knew I should’ve been a stripper, but I’m just not that kind of guy, you know?

–Fulton-bound A train

Flash Dancers employee handing out flyers: Hey, you like girls? You like girls? No? You like guys? We got guys… [whispers] but you gotta go in the back door.

–Outside Flash Dancers, 52nd & Broadway

Overheard by: not going in any door

Flyer dude: Female strippers! With STDs!

–48th & 7th

Dude on cell: I was a male stripper for the two years I was a youth pastor.

–N train

Lady passenger to cabbie: I teach kindergarteners and I strip!

–12th & 3rd

Overheard by: Matty K

Posted on April 18, 2007
All Wednesday One-Liners, Jobs & Careers, Strippers, Wednesday One-Liners

Wet and Ready Wednesday One-Liners

Guy: What’s so funny? Vagina? I’m not scared to say ‘vagina,’ watch: Vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina!

–Grand Army Plaza

Columbia student: Do strippers use their vaginas?

–Massawa Ethiopian, 120th & Amsterdam

Girl wearing jerz shirt: Guys, if I zipped my pussy, of course I would tell you.

–27th St

Middle school boy to another: Do you know what a ‘cunt’ is? It’s a pussy. [Pause] You should know that, it’s Jamaican.

–B69 bus

Overheard by: Bilingual

Guy standing in pile of luggage outside women’s restroom: Man, I’m glad my vagina’s not with me today.

–Grand Central Station

Overheard by: A Vagina

Posted on December 13, 2006
All Wednesday One-Liners, Language Barrier, Strippers, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary, Words

Happy Birthday K-Fed

Dude #1: We went to a strip club for his birthday.
Dude #2: Cool.
Dude #1: He was bragging that the stripper kissed him, but she made him sick!
Dude #2: Not cool.
Dude #1: Now he has mono and feels like he’s going to die.

–58th & Columbus

Overheard by: finished lunch anyway
Headline by: mannadew

Runners-Up:
· “Best-Case Scenario Survival Handbook” – Keith Campbell
· “For the Man Who Has Had Everything” – Eric
· “Her day-job was a Karma Policewoman.” – Jehan
· “I’m thinking Christian Slater for the movie..” – yanick massicotte
· “Laser Tag Never Sounded Better” – Ned
· “Maybe the Nurse Will Strip For Him” – Trey Jackson
· “Not as bad as when I got Stigmata after a lap dance from Rachel Dratch” – Tourist #8
· “Not Everything Stays in Vegas” – miaka mouse
· “Now He’s Bragging That He Didn’t Get Herpes.” – Katie

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on July 3, 2006
Celebrations/Parties, Friends, Guys, Headline Contest Winners, Illness, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Strippers

Our Contributor Illustrates How to Overhear Correctly

Girl on cell: So, did you get a lap dance?…Oh my God, a whole group of women just turned around and stared at me.

The group of women turn around again.

Girl on cell: No, he did not get a lap dance!

–45th between 8th & 9th

Posted on August 23, 2005
Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, Strippers, Talking/Convos

Strippers