Stupidity

Young barista to another, peeling a banana: You like your women like you like your bananas.

–Bedford Ave

Man outside fry place: They don't sell watermelon here. I read the menu three times, and no watermelon.

–Pomme Frites, 2nd Ave

Dude on cell: Banana. Banana banana banana banana. Banana.

–Flatbush Avenue, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Sarah Booz

30-something suit to another: If I'm hungry I'll eat a banana, but I can't eat more than one. Because bananas, like, annoy me.

–Metro-North Harlem Line

Employee: All natural mango juice, on sale for 66… no, 69 cents off the regular price.
(customer walks away, uninterested) Where do you think you're going?

–Whole Foods

Overheard by: Sac

Schoolgirl #1 to friend: I just don't understand why we have to learn history in school. It's not like knowing about Asia's trade habits in the 1800s will get me anywhere in life!
Schoolgirl #2: I know. I mean, I don't even like Asians, so why should I have to learn about them?
Schoolgirl #1: Exactly.

–W13th St

Guido to another: She actually shaves between sex and shit.

–Bay Ridge, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Belladonna Wexhome

Middle-aged Guido: Nobody gives tricks any more, only treats. I remember when I was a kid. I used to get shaving cream in my face.

–78th St & West End

Overheard by: jess_stang

Guy coming out of Beeswax screening: I will not bow to the hegemony of the razor.

–BAM Cinemafest

Girl to friend and boyfriend: I definitely prefer a female gynecologist to a male one. Mine is a really old woman, and she's great! She just says to me, "I am shaving you." My lips are really big!

–E 7th St

Overheard by: Evan

Girl #1: Can you *believe* how rude that woman was?
Girl #2: Seriously, I mean, who does she think she is telling us to be quiet?
Girl #3: I know! I'm sorry, but if I had wanted to be *silent* I woulda gone to the movies by myself.

–Bathroom, AMC Loews Movie Theater

Overheard by: Tonya

Conductor #1: Please remove your personal belongings from unoccupied seats to allow other passengers to sit.
Conductor #2: Okay, Hitler.

–Amtrak Train, Penn Station

Overheard by: Ames

NYU girl #1, failing to light her “cigarette”: What the fuck!?
NYU girl #2: Honey, that's your flash drive.

–Outside of Tisch School of the Arts

Overheard by: Bruce Lee

Eight-year-old boy, screaming before midnight: Haaaaappy New Yearrrrrrr! Haaaappy New Year!
Drunk partygoers across the street: Haaaaappy New Year!
30-something: This is so overwhelming.

–Ocean Parkway & Neptune

Overheard by: Ilysse Weisenfeld

Tween: Mom, I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking.
Mother: What are you?
Tween, starting to sob: Stupid.
Mother: What kind of stupid?
Tween: Ten flavors of stupid.
Mom: And don't you fucking forget it!

–Battery Park City

Jock #1: You know what would be cool?
Jock #2: No, what?
Jock #1: Using chocolate milk in cereal!
Jock #2: Oh man, like with cocoa puffs? Can you imagine how insane that would be?

–Supermarket, Upper West Side

Black girl #1, as she passes a white couple making out in the middle of the sidewalk: Dude, that's where I got the idea to have sex in the park.
Black girl #2: What?
Black girl #1: Well, I didn't get the idea from black people.
(black girl #2 laughs)
Black girl #1: What? Lots of people have sex in the park.

–Broadway & Spring

Overheard by: I love people…..