Guy #1: They don’t have my supplement here.
Guy #2: Try the health food store.
Guy #1: I would, but every time I go in there that woman tries to clean my aura.
–CVS, Bleecker Street
Guy #1: They don’t have my supplement here.
Guy #2: Try the health food store.
Guy #1: I would, but every time I go in there that woman tries to clean my aura.
–CVS, Bleecker Street
Thug to young friend checking DVDs in library: How come you got a library card?
Friend: Because I'm…normal?
–Seward Park Library, Broadway & Rutgers
Overheard by: Puma
Woman #1: He had to take his cat to the vet.
Woman #2: She has to get spaded?
–Office, W. 53rd Street
Woman on cell: Okay, but this time please stay out of my underwear drawer.
–Astor Place
Overheard by: Jess
Overconfident guy: I know, I know. You say you have a 3.7 at NYU Law, and the panties just drop.
–Dorm, NYU Law
Overheard by: holdingbacklaughter
Little old lady on park bench to another: Well, I've been stuffing my bra now, and now I can't find my money.
–Central Park West & 63rd St
Overheard by: Jen
Woman: My dog only eats my underwear. He doesn't eat my son's. He doesn't eat my husband's. Only mine! I wonder why. (pauses to think) Hmm… it must be that feminine smell.
–E 40th St
Overheard by: TMI
Livid man on cell: No! You can't have your underwear back!
–Chelsea
Conductor #1: What’s going on?
Conductor #2: Some passengers found a suspicious bag.
Conductor #1: What did you do?
Conductor #2: I threw it in the garbage.
–1 train
Long-haired dude: You penised his penis with your penis!
Creepy chick: Dude! That’s, like, penis cubed!
Long-haired dude: Damn. How many penises is that?
Creepy chick: Well, three. Penis times penis times penis. Duh.
–56th & Lex
Overheard by: i never passed math
Suave guy: Where are you from?
Drunk girl: New Jersey!
Suave guy: Oh, yeah? That's cool!
–3rd Ave & 14th St
Truly urban son: Look, mom, an eagle!
Mom: No, Gabe, it's just a pigeon.
–The Bronx
Overheard by: Natasha
Headline by: Brian
Runners-Up:
· “But It’s a Bronx Pigeon, So It Acts Like an Eagle” – PeterG
· “Kudos to the Science Teachers at P.S. 51” – Los
· “The Cash-Strapped Bronx Zoo Wasn’t Fooling Anyone” – Coyoty
· “The True Symbol Of America” – BabakganoosH
· “This Is the Bronx, Let Him Dream…” – Lacey
Thug, taking a drink: Yo, this water’s mad wet.
–Murrow High School, Brooklyn
Guy: I mean, I don’t want any bok choy in my chakra.
–12th & Broadway
Overheard by: aryn
Old lady: Good lord, I thought maybe you’d fallen in the toilet again.
Old man: That wasn’t my fault and you know it!
Old lady: That is the last time I ever clean the toilet seat and let you sit on it right after.
Old man: Can we just enjoy the show?
–Majestic Theatre, West 44th Street
