Stupidity

Young woman to another: But do you know how big a horse dick is?

–5th Ave & Carroll, Park Slope

Girl: I'm really tired. I'm, like, an animal activist right now.

–Parking Lot, Broadway Mall

Overheard by: Lysa

Student: I'm not that sensitive. I can watch those videos where they like, torture the animal or whatever, and then I'll go eat it.

–Cardozo Law School

Asian girl: Does this make me look like a sad Panda?

–NYU Dining Hall

Columbia girl: I'd never have asked if I knew he was the one who'd killed it. But I didn't suspect him. Who'd spend their time strangling a gerbil?

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Who'd have thought?

Guido to friend: Yo, it smells like a skunk burped up a hot dog.

–Penn Station

Lady on speaker: If you have an animal, please do not put it through the X-ray.

–LaGuardia Airport

Woman to teen skater punks splashing in fountain: You know there's birdshit in that, right?
Lead teen skater punk: We're not drinking it!

–55th St Water Fountain

Overheard by: A little purel never hurt

Woman stuck in bathroom, kicking and banging: Help me! [Inaudible yelling in Spanish.]Conductor: Miss, don’t push the door, slide the door!
Man: Some people just shouldn’t be allowed on the train.

–NJ Transit

Overheard by: Erin

White guy: Honestly, this sounds crazy, but I've never been able to find actual porn on the internet.
Asian girl, indignant: Dude. You just google “porn.”

–Bleecker St

Soulful black man: Well, think about this. A white man lived in Graceland, a black man lived in Neverland. (nods knowingly)

–Downtown A Train

Overheard by: Bearsian

Gallery director to intern: So after he was arrested we sent a letter to Henry Gates asking him for money, you know, since we are a multicultural organization.

–Lower East Side Art Gallery

Latina to Latino: Latinos and black people can't be racist. That's, like, just white people.

–Red Hook, Brooklyn

White hobo: When I see a black nigger together with a white nigger, that just confuses the hell outta me.

–Houston & Clinton

Woman: She likes black dogs because she's black, and I like white dogs because I'm white.

–Upper West Side

Overheard by: Yehuda

Girl #1: Happy birthday, Mira!
Girl #2: Happy birthday! Yay, it’s my birthday too!…in August.

–L’Orange Bleue, Broome Street

Overheard by: Sasha Vaughan

Middle aged woman: Excuse me, can you tell me where I can find English muffins?
Teen employee: All the muffins are in that aisle over there, but I don't know where they are from.

–Waldbaums Supermarket, Bayside

Guy #1: They don’t have my supplement here.
Guy #2: Try the health food store.
Guy #1: I would, but every time I go in there that woman tries to clean my aura.

–CVS, Bleecker Street

Thug to young friend checking DVDs in library: How come you got a library card?
Friend: Because I'm…normal?

–Seward Park Library, Broadway & Rutgers

Overheard by: Puma

Woman #1: He had to take his cat to the vet.
Woman #2: She has to get spaded?

–Office, W. 53rd Street