Catholic pre-K teacher: On Good Friday bad men killed Jesus and he died.
Four-year-old boy: Who killed Jesus?! I will kill him with my gun!
–Queens Catholic Elementary School
Overheard by: Sophia
Catholic pre-K teacher: On Good Friday bad men killed Jesus and he died.
Four-year-old boy: Who killed Jesus?! I will kill him with my gun!
–Queens Catholic Elementary School
Overheard by: Sophia
Professor: Martin Luther King, Jr had women in his hotel room. He was running around on Coretta.
Student: Maybe, they were studying the bible.
(class laughs)
Professor: Well, she may have been calling out Jesus's name. But they sure as hell weren't reading the bible.
Slow girl, five minutes later: Oh, I get it. Ew!
–Baruch College
Overheard by: kteezy
Teacher: Some of the answer choices people picked were really out there. I probably could've put peanut butter and jelly, and people would think, "Oh, damn, I'm hungry, I should pick that."
–Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: Student
Teacher: Guys, no matter what happens, if you're absent on a test day you must bring in a note! I don't care if you're walking to school and suddenly the ground opens up and you're sucked into candyland–I need a note!
–LaGuardia High School
Overheard by: a note of chocolate?
Acoustics teacher: This only emphasizes how little I know about acoustics. Or rather, how little is known about acoustics.
–Cooper Union, Astor Place
Overheard by: a student is only as good as his t eacher
Teacher to little boy: You ain't gonna die just cause your leg got sprinkled on!
–L Train
Overheard by: Misshellee
Principal: I can see what you're doing…with this bouncing and the little hand on your hip…you're trying to undermine my authority with your bad posture, I can see exactly what you think of my administration.
–Bard High School Early College
Professor: Gods, these students. It’s like they just don’t get it, you tell them things and two minutes later they ask you the same thing. How did they get here? What are they going to major in? In "homelessness"?
–English Department, Hostos Community College
Well-dressed 20-something girl: Homeless people tell me to cheer up all the time!
–1 train
Rich woman #1, fixing rich woman #2’s scarf: [laughs] Oh my god, you look homeless!
–1 Train
Overheard by: sagehen
Well-dressed woman on cell: It’s just another Wednesday and I’m a bag lady.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
Mother to her flock of children entering the train and then getting off: Run guys run, theres a homeless guy on that train! Run!
–F Train
Overheard by: yana
Relaxed professor, talking about his past: When I was younger my friends and I would go to McDonald's for the fries, and Burger King for the burgers.
20-something student: My grandmother told me she did the same thing!
Relaxed professor: Yeah, we dated.
–Columbia University
Student #1: Mr S., you have a big wenis.
Teacher: What!?
Student #1: “Wenis” is the extra skin at the back of your elbow.
(teacher grabs forearm)
Student #2: No, straighten your arm and grab the extra skin. If you pinch your wenis really hard it doesn’t hurt! Try it, pinch your wenis, Mr S.
–Bronx Science
Overheard by: LSB
Student: Is that a vagina?
Teacher: Yes, it is. You were the first one to notice the vagina on my wall.
–New Dorp High School, Staten Island
NYU student: It must be hard to kill someone.
NYU professor: No, it’s not.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Blazed
Student taking exam: Mr. F, sir, I really don’t understand this.
Mr. F: See your ass in summer school, nigga!
Student taking exam: I’m sorry, what?
Mr. F: So, that’s not cool anymore?
–High school
Teacher: Which race of people were counted as 3/5 of a person during the 1850s in the South?
Student: Midgets.
–Williamsburg High School
