Teen girl: Wow, look at the men’s room line and then look at the women’s room line. It’s so much longer.
Fat woman: Yeah. Shit, I’ll grow a penis.
–Shubert Theater, W. 44th Street
Overheard by: Emily G.
Teen girl: Wow, look at the men’s room line and then look at the women’s room line. It’s so much longer.
Fat woman: Yeah. Shit, I’ll grow a penis.
–Shubert Theater, W. 44th Street
Overheard by: Emily G.
Rastafarian man to white basketball female player with dreads: Hey! Why you white people always trying to look like me!
–Union Square
Black guy selling Empire State Building tickets: You're from Scotland? I love the Scots… They're puuuuuuurrreee white!
–Outside Empire State Building
Black woman to another, about frat guys nearby: Man, white people are so loud.
–109th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Becks
Black hobo to white teen: Get out of this neighborhood with your white crotch! You don't belong here!
–Upper West Side
Black woman to cops walking away: But I'm a Caucasian!
–Bed-Stuy
Teen boy #1: Man, I tell you, da reason France don’t want us in Iraq is dat dey know the second we done in Baddad we is headed right over the border and straight into Paris.
Teen boy #2: Nigga, you’se is ignorant. Iraq ain’t next to no France.
Teen boy #1: Nah man, I ain’t sayin it is right up on France, but, you know, it goes Iraq, Germany, some otha country, then France, so it is close.
Teen boy #2: Ain’t you eva seen no map? I’ma gonna show you when we get to school. That shit is in Africa, between Lidia and Egypt.
–F train
Overheard by: Ed Salcedo
Guy: I asked you if you knew where he lived; you pointed to Iraq!
Girl: Well, I don’t know. How was I supposed to know?
Guy: Iraq is not the same as Israel.
–Duane Reade, 28th & Park
Overheard by: Jack B
Teen girl #1: I like him cause he’s tough, but he ain’t thug.
Teen girl #2: Oh, he’s thug. He got that tattoo, he wears his pants all baggy and he got that great big coat.
Teen girl #1: Yeah, he got that tattoo, but them other things…he just short.
–A train
Overheard by: iiams
Woman: That movie’s so stupid! They got King Kong and the dinosaurs fighting even though they are from different centuries.
–Mama’s Pizza, 106th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Kyle T
Teen girl: You know, I don’t think I even believe in dinosaurs.
–Starbucks, Astor Place
Overheard by: Paul
Brunette teenage girl: So I was doing my once-a-month therapy session and…
Blond teenage girl: I'm getting a therapist!
Brunette: Score! (they high five)
–Park Slope
13-year-old brunette to tourists: Argh! Move!
13-year-old redhead: These people need to learn the ethics of jaywalking.
–Times Square
Overheard by: emma
Teen ghetto girl: If you had a daughter…
Teen ghetto boy: If I had a daughter, there ain’t no way she’d be leavin’ the house with them short shorts and shit. And she fo’ sho’ wouldn’t be playin’ with them barbies. Barbies is evil. They mess with girls’ brains, makin’ them think they need to show off their shit and have babies when theys like 15. No barbies. Only puzzles.
–Manhattan bound N train
Overheard by: lauren
Teenage boy tourist: Times Square is by far the coolest part of New York. It’s almost like heaven!
–Times Square
A tourist is craning his neck to photograph the Empire State Building.
New Yorker: What is he looking at?! … Oh.
–34th & 5th
Tourist: There isn’t anywhere within walking distance.
–53rd & Lex
Overheard by: Not a Clueless Tourist
Hobo, after stealing someone’s luggage: Tourists need to be more careful when they come to New York City.
–6th Ave & 23rd St
Overheard by: BOB Sled
Tourist dropping money in front of frozen female mime he’s been staring at for five minutes: That was truly incredible. Thank you so much.
–Outside MoMA
Tourist: I guess we should go to the Ground Zeroes.
–5th Ave & 13th St
Overheard by: Sally Tomato
Thug: Just push them out of the way. They’re tourists, they’ll love it.
–Times Square
Overheard by: duffduff
Teen Girl to friend: I'd much rather he got turned on by his two friends than a Broadway show. I mean, how *gay* would that be?
–Boardwalk, Brighton Beach
