Teenage boy: I wanna see Zombieland soon. It's supposed to be really funny.
Hobo: You should just hang out here late at night! The place is full of zombies!
–Times Square
Teenage boy: I wanna see Zombieland soon. It's supposed to be really funny.
Hobo: You should just hang out here late at night! The place is full of zombies!
–Times Square
Teen boy #1: Dude, are you gay?
Teen boy #2: No. Why?
Teen boy #1: Because I saw you whacking off to your cousin! Did you shoot on him?
Teen boy #2: No, we were comparing sizes!
Teen boy #1: Well, that’s gay. You’re never suppose to show your stuff to another guy!
–5th Ave
Overheard by: Austin Crumpler
Teenage boy #1: It’s gotten to the point that I have like 20 logins. I can’t remember them all!
Teenage boy #2: Yeah, the guy who invented logins must be loaded!
–4 Train
Teen girl #1: I have worn this shirt three times in my entire life, and every time I do she wears the exact same one.
Teen girl #2: That’s because she’s a slut.
–Poly Prep Country Day School, Bay Ridge
Overheard by: Casey Ross
High school girl #1: Did you see Juno?
High school girl #2: Oh my god! I loved it! Especially that song they sang!
High school girl #1: I know! I always try to get my boyfriend to sing like that with me, but he just tells me to get on my knees.
–79th & Lex
(a pigeon flies up to a rambling bike messenger)
Bike messenger: Hey, bird. Whadda ya say? How you doing? You play baseball? What position? First base? Third? Catcher?
–47th & Madison
Ditzy teen on cell: Why can't they, like, have two footballs instead so both teams could score?
–Doctor's Office, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Robert Gleyberman
Professor: Did I tell you guys I'm getting into professional wrestling?
–Fordham University, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Didn't want the details
Guy to another, screaming at the top of his lungs: It's fucking field hockey! It's a girl's sport! Why are you even on the team?! You make me sick!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Scott Jurkowski
Train conductor, announcing stop: Willets point, Shea Stadium…home of that *other* team.
–Willets Point, Queens
Overheard by: Random Asian Chick
Teen girl #1: I choked that girl.
Teen girl #2: You did what?
Teen girl #1: I choked the bitch.
Teen girl #2: Ok, let’s talk about this when we cross 125th Street.
–2 train, 34th St
Overheard by: dj dradle
Teen girl: [Mumbles.]Clerk: What?
Teen girl: [Speaks softly.]Clerk: You’re going to have to speak up.
Teen girl: [Leans over counter and mumbles.]Clerk: What? What the fuck are those? [Yells to coworker] Tina*! Do we have any morning after pills? [Teen girl sprints out of store.]
–Crowded CVS
Very underage thugette: Look, they have a happy hour!
20-something thug: Shit, girl, you ain't old enough.
Very underage thugette: Nah, they won't check.
20-something thug: Yeah, they will–they'll kick you out and send me to jail.
Very underage thugette: But we're married!
–Outside Bar, Underhill Ave, Brooklyn
Teen girl on cell: …Can you believe he wanted me to stick my hand in there and touch it?…Yeah, I did it…Oh, it was huge! He said it was really big, but damn! And it’s long, too!…Uh, the head is an
average size, I guess…I like how it feels…Okay, why is the spotlight on me?…Different people are giving me that “what the fuck” look…Oh, shit! Ha, ha, ha! You’re right. Hold on…Chill, everyone! I’m talking about my boyfriend’s pet snake, not his
penis…Okay, continue.
–Dunkin’ Donuts, Fulton Mall
Overheard by: Shanny O.
