Mother: The other day I walked past a bunch of Hispanic teenagers. They smelled really good.
Teen boy: It’s Axe.
Mother: What?
Teen boy: Axe.
Mother: Wait, what?
Teen boy: Axe!
Mother: Ass? That’s not nice to say about Hispanic people.
–SoHo
Overheard by: Kevo C.
Hip gay teen girl #1: But she doesn't like fantasy!
Hot gay teen girl: Well, I don't like fantasy either, like I don't like Dungeons and Dragons, or dinosaurs, or anything.
Hip gay teen girl #2: But…dinosaurs were real.
–NYU Dorm
Overheard by: Samwell
(a very obnoxious, lingering fart was dropped and filled the entire car during rush hour)
Teen girl to friend: Ohmigod! Let’s get out of here, it smells like shit!
Old man, five minutes later: What’s the matter with you fucking people? Somebody open up a god damned window!
–2 Train
Boat PA: Ladies and gentlemen on the top deck of the boat, please do not stand on the benches. If you fall overboard, you will die in this frigid, freezing water. Thank you, and enjoy your visit to Ellis island.
–Ellis Island Ferry
Overheard by: land lubber
Urban sophisticate: Steve Irwin’s death was random. That stingray did not know where his heart was!
–Metropolitan Opera
Overheard by: Opera Onlooker
Male suit to woman suit: So, hopefully you’re not the angel of death… Are you?
–53rd & Broadway
Overheard by: S&B
Teen guy to three teenage girls: I’m pretty sure I’m invincible and can’t die.
–6th Ave
Overheard by: Justin
Woman on cell: My trip went really well, except for Marilyn’s* death and all.
–52nd St & Madison
Overheard by: kinicke
50-something professor: So, then the little girl goes back up into her room where she is reading bible verses while everyone else is in church. Then, she either dies all alone… Like Heath Ledger… Or she kills herself. We just don’t know.
–Barnard College
15-year-old boy #1: So, like, I know they used whales for, like, their blubber and shit, but I thought there was something else they killed ’em for.
15-year-old boy #2: Dumbass. They kill whales for their tusks, everybody knows that!
15-year-old boy #1: Oh, right… But I thought that’s what elephants were for.
15-year-old boy #2: Nope. Their ears.
15-year-old boy #1, baffled: Their ears?!
15-year-old boy #2: Yep, my dad goes down to the bakery every Sunday and gets an elephant ear and a coffee. I swear.
15-year-old boy #1: That’s some fucked-up shit!
–Faye’s Starbucks
Overheard by: Stop elephant cruelty! Save the elephant ears!
High school teen: Excuse me, do you know where the F train is?
Rich suit: Yeah…you can probably tell that I don't take the subway.
–Union Square
Overheard by: you're probably sleazy too
Teen boy #1: Is it the platypus that is a mammal but lays eggs?
Teen boy #2: No, I don’t think so; mammals always lay eggs.
–4 train
Overheard by: Kimberly Johnson
Jersey teen on class trip: I wonder if they've got Billy Joel here.
Friend: Dude, isn't he some preacher in Texas?
–Rock N' Roll Hall of Fame Annex, Mercer St
Overheard by: stillrockn'rolltome
High school kid: I’m thinking of staying in the city for school.
Friend: Really?
High school kid: Yeah, I kinda want to stay in my apartment.
Friend: Oh, I thought it would be to party or something. Why would you want to live at home?
High school kid: Oh, don’t worry, I’m going to kick my mom out first.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: courtney
Teen boy: Wow, look, my feet are bigger than yours!
Dad: So what? My dick is bigger than yours!
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Sarah
