If You Want a Taste Of the Rainbow, Go for It!

Teenage Spanish girls: Mister, mister! Where'd you get that belt?
Guy: (mumbles)
Girl #1: You know that's the gay belt, right? That belt is gay, yo.
Guy: (shakes head)
Girl #2: Yeah, that's the gay belt. You better take that shit off! Are you gay?
Guy: (shakes head)
Girl #1: Then take that shit off man! You can't have a gay belt. What store did you get it at? Didn't they tell you when you bought it? Mister, you better return that shit to the store!
Girl #3: Maybe he's bi. Hey mister, it's okay if you're bi. I mean, I like eating pussy.

–Uptown N Train

Overheard by: Jeff

Posted on October 11, 2015
Advice, Clothing, Default, Eating Out, Foreigners, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, On the Subway, Teens

Wednesday One-Liners Are Always PC

Young teen girl: I've done cybersex so often I forgot how to type with two hands.

–A Train

Suit on cell: I have nothing to blog about. I have nothing to video blog about. Man, yesterday I had to force myself to tweet!

–Uptown 4 Train

Overheard by: cowgirly

Girl selling peaches to another: Yeah, my dad was so unsympathetic when I told him my computer crashed that I went straight to the Apple store and charged a new hard drive to his credit card. I was really proud of myself.

–Fort Greene Farmers Market

Overheard by: Morning Glory

Teenage girl to friend: I don't see why we're even here. We could see all this stuff on the internet for free.

–Metropolitan Museum

Overheard by: Derek

Posted on October 10, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Computer, Free stuff!, Friends, Girls, Internet, Masturbation, Money & Class, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Sex, Shopping, Suits, Teens, The Met, Visual Art, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

The Village Bicycle’s Wednesday One-Liners

Girl on cell: So I asked my doorman if I brought anyone home with me last night and he said he didn’t know! I told him it’s his job to know!

–Outside 145th subway station

Hipster girl: Santa is a man whore!

–45th & 8th

College girl: And then we’re having what I thought was a nice one night stand, and then, he’s all like "what are you doing?"

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: silvver

Indian girl: I need to up my sex number. I either wanna sleep with a professor or a celebrity. (long pause) Wait! Professors are like celebrities!

–72nd and Amsterdam

Overheard by: Vincent

Teen girl to friend: … And then my mom said to me "don’t be a ho."

–Union Square

Overheard by: Lotte

Girl: She is such a fuckin’ slut. (Pause, then indignantly) How you gonna sleep with someone for four dollars?

–Bergen and Smith

Posted on October 8, 2015
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Bimbettes, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Default, Education, Girls, Hipsters, Holidays, Insults, Jobs & Careers, Money & Class, Native Americans, Offers and requests, On Cell, One Night Stand, Parents, Promiscuity, Prostitution, Questions, Sorority Girls, Street, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Teens, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Washington Square Park, Wishes & desires

Kiss My Axe, Mom

Mother: The other day I walked past a bunch of Hispanic teenagers. They smelled really good.
Teen boy: It’s Axe.
Mother: What?
Teen boy: Axe.
Mother: Wait, what?
Teen boy: Axe!
Mother: Ass? That’s not nice to say about Hispanic people.

–SoHo

Overheard by: Kevo C.

Posted on October 6, 2015
Boys, Moms, Race, Scents of the City, Soho, Stupidity, Talking/Convos, Teens, Words

One of Them Gave a Ride to Jackie Paper and Everything

Hip gay teen girl #1: But she doesn't like fantasy!
Hot gay teen girl: Well, I don't like fantasy either, like I don't like Dungeons and Dragons, or dinosaurs, or anything.
Hip gay teen girl #2: But…dinosaurs were real.

–NYU Dorm

Overheard by: Samwell

Posted on October 4, 2015
Animals & Nature, Girls, Gripes, Hipsters, NYU, Teens, The Village, Video Games

Well, It Is the Number Two Train

(a very obnoxious, lingering fart was dropped and filled the entire car during rush hour)
Teen girl to friend: Ohmigod! Let’s get out of here, it smells like shit!
Old man, five minutes later: What’s the matter with you fucking people? Somebody open up a god damned window!

–2 Train

Posted on October 3, 2015
Default, Etiquette, Farting & Burping, Friends, Girls, Men, Old People, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Questions, Scents of the City, Sensory Experiences, Teens

Nos Morituri Te Wednesday One-Liners

Boat PA: Ladies and gentlemen on the top deck of the boat, please do not stand on the benches. If you fall overboard, you will die in this frigid, freezing water. Thank you, and enjoy your visit to Ellis island.

–Ellis Island Ferry

Overheard by: land lubber

Urban sophisticate: Steve Irwin’s death was random. That stingray did not know where his heart was!

–Metropolitan Opera

Overheard by: Opera Onlooker

Male suit to woman suit: So, hopefully you’re not the angel of death… Are you?

–53rd & Broadway

Overheard by: S&B

Teen guy to three teenage girls: I’m pretty sure I’m invincible and can’t die.

–6th Ave

Overheard by: Justin

Woman on cell: My trip went really well, except for Marilyn’s* death and all.

–52nd St & Madison

Overheard by: kinicke

50-something professor: So, then the little girl goes back up into her room where she is reading bible verses while everyone else is in church. Then, she either dies all alone… Like Heath Ledger… Or she kills herself. We just don’t know.

–Barnard College

Posted on October 1, 2015
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Body Parts, Church, Columbia (& Barnard), Compare/Contrast, Death, Ferry, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Ivy League, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, Questions, Religion, Suicide, Suits, Teachers/Professors, Teens, Theater, Threats, Tourism, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Weirdness, Women

Sometimes He Even Gets a Bear Claw

15-year-old boy #1: So, like, I know they used whales for, like, their blubber and shit, but I thought there was something else they killed ’em for.
15-year-old boy #2: Dumbass. They kill whales for their tusks, everybody knows that!
15-year-old boy #1: Oh, right… But I thought that’s what elephants were for.
15-year-old boy #2: Nope. Their ears.
15-year-old boy #1, baffled: Their ears?!
15-year-old boy #2: Yep, my dad goes down to the bakery every Sunday and gets an elephant ear and a coffee. I swear.
15-year-old boy #1: That’s some fucked-up shit!

–Faye’s Starbucks

Overheard by: Stop elephant cruelty! Save the elephant ears!