JHS girl: I’ll be damned if I let a seventh-grader ruin my reputation.
–8th Ave. playground
Sweaty fat man on cell: I would feel stupid if I were in a diabetic coma.
–8th Ave. between 21st & 22nd
JHS girl: I’ll be damned if I let a seventh-grader ruin my reputation.
–8th Ave. playground
Sweaty fat man on cell: I would feel stupid if I were in a diabetic coma.
–8th Ave. between 21st & 22nd
Scary Punk Teenage Girl: Have you heard of this play Medea?
Not-so-scary Punk Teenage Guy: Yeah, that’s a good play. Have you heard of Arthur Miller?
Scary Punk Teenage Girl: Who?
Not-so-scary Punk Teenage Guy: Arthur Miller. He wrote Death of a Salesman.
Scary Punk Teenage Girl: No.
Not-so-scary Punk Teenage Guy: Oh, he died last week. He was 89.
Scary Punk Teenage Girl: Wow, that’s terrible. I didn’t even know that and I deliver newspapers.
–They Might Be Giants in-store, Border’s, Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Monica
Girl, 14: I can’t imagine laying next to him in bed. He’d have to bring a GPS device.
Boy, 14: Yeah, how to get from point A to point B.
–6 train
Lesbian: Whatever, we can break up, I don’t care. You were only good for sex and Scrabble. The sex wasn’t even good and I can play Scrabble online.
–6 train
Overheard by: Tom V
Teenage Girl #1: How much longer?
Teenage Girl #2: I think 3 more stops, then we get the L train.
Teenage Girl #1: You kidding me? It’s taking forever, I feel like we’re in Connecticut!
–C train
Teen #1: …yeah, so now Saddam Hussein’s on trial or whatever, and like–
Teen #2: Whoa, whoa! They captured Saddam Hussein?! When did this happen?!
Teen #1: Like a year ago, dumbass. Jeez you’re slow. Anyway–
–1/9 34th St. Station
Teen chick: …so I shoved him and he fell. He lost his cell phone. He didn’t realize until later when he said “let me take a picture” and his phone was gone. He had it on silent, so we had to walk all around in the snow to find it.
–Bensonhurst
Smart teen girl: How come when people lose something they say, “I found it in the last place I looked.”? I mean, of course once they find it they’re gonna stop looking for it.
–LaGuardia baggage claim
13-year-old boy #1: Don't you remember that you told me my Bar Mitzvah was terrible?
13-year-old boy #2: When did I say that? I did not say nothing.
13-year-old boy #1: Don't you remember? You were talking to Eileen and you said I made a lot of mistakes. Don't blame me.
13-year-old boy #2: Don't blame you? You're blaming me! This is why we can't get together. Now we can't eat dinner together. We need conflict resolution.
–Barnes & Noble, 86th & Lexington
Teen #1, staring at gun with comma for trigger: So, what do you think it means?
Teen #2: It means: “as soon as I finish this sentence, I'm gonna kill you.”
–Museum of Modern Art
Guido: I love these jeans. They’re so comfy-womfy.
–R train, Court St
Teen girl: Tissues are so overrated. That’s what long-sleeved shirts are for. That’s why no one wears short-sleeved shirts!
–TGIFriday, 42nd St
Conductor: Down coats are very poofy. Please pull them in from the doors.
–Crowded F train
Overheard by: da sarkastik ninja.
Puking guy, using hat to catch his vomit: I don’t think I’m ever gonna be able to wear this hat again. It was a good hat.
–A train
Overheard by: Joseph
Teen girl, about gift for boyfriend: Can you imagine me getting him a sweater that’s too small and going, ‘Oh, it’s too small? I’ll take it!’
–R train
Chick: She was a tasteful goth… but she was wearing a cape.
–4th & Lafayette
