Mom: What time is the flight tomorrow?
Dad: Seven a.m. We have to get up at 4:30.
Little girl: Mommy, we’re going on an airplane?
Mom: Yes, honey, we’re going to Florida tomorrow.
Little girl: Why are we going to Florida, Mommy?
Mom: We’re going to Grandpa’s unveiling.
Little girl, terrified: Mommy, I don’t want to see Grandpa. He’s dead and scary.
Dad: [Laughing.]Mom: Robert, shut up!
–Christopher & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Surfer Dude #1
Female student #1: I feel bad for Czar Nicholas, because not only did he get overthrown and exiled, but Rasputin came in while he was gone and messed up his whole country.
Female student #2: What, you mean like in Anastasia?
Female student #1: No, I mean in, like, real life. The movie was based off real life.
Female student #2: Wait, you mean Rasputin was real?
–Bleecker & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Andrew
College girl: I wish you had been there — everyone was so crazy.
College guy: Yeah, I wish I’d been there so I coulda impregnated you.
–13th & University Pl
Overheard by: Abby
Kid: Dad, what’s a novel?
Dad: It’s a story written down in a book.
Kid: What’s a short story?
Dad, staring at kid: Are you freakin’ kidding me?
–Father Demo Square
Overheard by: z-pfeiff
Sexually ambiguous guy: Yeah, Natasha is having a party tonight, but I didn’t want to go because she has bedbugs, and I was afraid that I’d get bedbugs and bring them home. Everyone who’s going has to wear plastic bags.
Female companion: Why is she having a party?
Sexually ambiguous guy: It’s a bedbug party.
–St. Mark’s Pl
Overheard by: minerfa
Black man: So, where you from?
Hot chick: Portugal.
Black man: Shiiit! I’ve never heard that one before.
–Spring & Broadway
Overheard by: Maria
Construction worker #1: It’s all saggy.
Construction worker #2: And bouncing and shit.
Construction worker #1: Get a fucking girdle!
–Mercer St & Washington Pl
Overheard by: Renee B.
Russian guy on cell: I went to see Saw III. Best movie ever — the girl in front of me fainted in the beginning of the movie! Five minutes into the movie she just fainted, and her boyfriend started calling for help. I called an ambulance, they took her away… That movie was awesome!
–Brooklyn-bound Q train
Overenthusiastic male student: Oh! I met Borat! He goes to NYU, right?
–Hunter College
Guy to everyone in theater: Shhh, I’m recording this!
–Movie theater, Court St, Brooklyn
Blonde: Yeah, so I watch Brokeback Mountain like it’s my Bible. I hang on every word, ’cause I really want to know how gay people talk.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Stina
Guy on cell: 28 Days was just stupid. Zombies aren’t like that. Dawn of the Dead is the most realistic portrayal of zombies I’ve ever seen!
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Philip Niosi
Chick to hipsters: I did my first autopsy to The Wizard of Oz.
–The Village, near Mulberry
Overheard by: DC Diva
White guy: So, you are an artist now?
Weird-looking JAP: Yeah.
White guy: Weren’t you a musician just a month ago?
Weird-looking JAP: Yes.
White guy: What the fuck is going on?
Weird-looking JAP: I believe in this religion that asks me to experience my life with different professions.
White guy: So, what were you before you were a musician?
Weird-looking JAP: I was homeless.
–Houston & MacDougal
Overheard by: ting
Obnoxious teen #1: Oh my god! You like her? She’s a whore!
Obnoxious teen #2: Ummm… She’s in my math class, you know. She’s really smart.
Obnoxious teen #1: Smart and a whore. That just means she won’t get an STD.
–Nail salon, Bleecker St
Overheard by: Samideluxe
