Times Square

Wednesday One-liners See No UHO Money

Hobo: Yeah man, that’s good shit. Except for those white-ass American bandstand drummers. Whoever heard of fucking Clark Kent playing bongos?

–55th & 9th

Overheard by: Luke Reynolds

Posted on March 15, 2006
Anger Management, Brooklyn, Crazies, Drugs, Fashion, Food, Hobos, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, On the Subway, One-liners, Pick-up Lines, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Smokers & Smoking, Stupidity, The Village, Times Square, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Wednesday One-liners Speak Well English

Girl on cell: Oh my God, I am like so uncoherent today.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Athens Mol

Posted on March 15, 2006
Brooklyn, Celebrities Overheard, College, Columbia (& Barnard), Drinking & Drunk People, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Bus, On the Subway, One-liners, Park Slope, Stupidity, Teens, The Village, Times Square, Upper East Side

Must Be an Oedipus Revival

Tourist guy #1: What’s going on?
Tourist guy #2: Apparently someone is a motherfucker.

–42nd & 7th

Posted on March 9, 2006
Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Times Square, Tourists

Wednesday One-liners by Athletes, for Athletes

Dude: Shit man, slow down. Slow down. Whatcha runnin’ to?Yoga? Nigga’s runnin’ to yoga. White man runnin’ to yoga. Thought yoga was supposed to cure that shit.

–Union Square

Posted on March 8, 2006
Bars & Clubs, Central Park, College, Drinking & Drunk People, Fashion, Fordham, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, One-liners, Penn Station, Sports, Stupidity, Teens, The Bronx, Thugs, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Yoga

Wednesday One-liners Go Potty

Chick on cell: It’s a long story involving a lot of urine, but the gist of it is, we can’t use that refrigerator ever again.

–Madison Square Garden ladies’ room

Posted on March 1, 2006
Anger Management, Bars & Clubs, Celebrities Overheard, Crazies, Health and Hygiene, Lower East Side, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Only in New York, Poop, Retail Therapy, Should've Used a Condom, Stall Spies, Stupidity, Teens, The Bronx, The Village, Times Square, Tourist Attractions

These Seats Are Really Shitty

Woman: Excuse me, where’s the restroom?
Usher guy: Sixth seat on the right, ma’am.

–Eugene O’Neill Theater, West 49th Street

Posted on February 28, 2006
Arts & Letters, Manhattan, Poop, Theater & Dance, Times Square

Barbie was Right About Math Class

Girl #1: I’m serious, I’m 23
Girl #2: No way you ain’t. I’m 23, and I’m 28,

–Olive Garden, Times Square

Posted on February 26, 2006
Fashion, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Times Square

World War II: Hey, what’s up?

Hag: I can’t imagine dropping off my brother at the airport all like, “I’m okay with never seeing you again ’cause you might die in battle.”
Queer: Well, at least he gets a whore.
Hag: What?
Queer: ‘Cause you know they get whores in wars.
Hag: What are you talking about?
Queer: Hello? World War II?

–Olive Garden, Times Square