Airhead #1: Where is the tree?
Airhead #2: It’s not here!
–Next to the unlit Christmas tree, Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Lalaith
Airhead #1: Where is the tree?
Airhead #2: It’s not here!
–Next to the unlit Christmas tree, Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Lalaith
Guy: Excuse me, miss. Excuse me. Excuse me! Woman, move!
Girl: Dude, I’m not a tourist.
Guy: Oh. Sorry.
–59th St & Lex
Woman: Oh, would you like to get by?
Japanese tourist: Yes, thank you.
Woman: You’re very welcome…[to friend] Got that bitch outta my hair.
–Century 21
Ghetto girl on cell: How you ‘spect me to find you? This map has, like, so many places on it!
–Brooklyn Botanical Gardens
Overheard by: vix
Tourist: But we are in SoHo!
–16th & 6th
Overheard by: Yours Truly
Tourist to MTA agent: Which train do I need to take to get to South Ho?
–W 4th St subway station
Overheard by: Emily
Teenage tourist: Ohmigod…CBGB… BCBG…Whatever. We totally have to go!
–22rd & 5th
Overheard by: zr
Tourist lady, pointing to Liberty Island: There are people over there. Why are there people over there?!
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Not quite sure
Jappy tourist: Hey, we’re trying to get back to New York Island; do you know the best way to get to 48th and 8th Avenue?
–2nd St between A & B
Overheard by: Where Am I?
Yuppie tourist: Christina, Christina! Is this Ground Zero?
–5th Ave, outside Plaza Hotel
Overheard by: D
Tourist husband: So what is this show about?
Tourist wife: I believe it’s like a Muppets story.
—Avenue Q, Golden Theater, W 45th St
Overheard by: Jose
Headline by: Michael
Runners-Up:
· “The Muppets Take Manhattan, Roll It Over, Pull Its Hair and Make It Call Them ‘Daddy’” – Colin McCleod
· “…And Miss Saigon Is About a Beauty Pageant” – bri b
· “And Porn Is Like a Plumbing Story” – jdw
· “And the Dinner You Took Me to at Olive Garden? That Was Like Italian.” – Andy Klingenberger
· “Avenue Q Tickets: $120. The Looks on Vernon and Estelle’s Faces When They Hear ‘The Internet is for Porn’: Priceless” – what i wouldn’t give to watch them watch the show
· “Everyone’s a Little Misinformed” – ian
· “Maybe If the Muppets Took Fire Island” – Broomrider
· “The Same Way That Debbie Does Dallas Is a Travel Documentary” – Kristin Sacre
· “Today’s Letters Are S, E and X, and the Number Is 69” – Iain, London
Lost tourist on cell, blocking the crosswalk with her luggage: I’m standing on the corner of 42nd and 3rd.
Passing native: Yeah, and in everyone’s mothafucking way.
–42nd & 3rd
Overheard by: She was in my way too
Chick: Nothing says New York like a wire frog.
–Battery Park
Lady who has loudly complained to the waiter about the poor service: It’s people like that who give New York City a bad name.
–Lindy’s, 7th Ave
Overheard by: joemikehap
Amateur anthropologist: Of course I have a snarky attitude! I’m a New Yorker; it’s practically a requirement!
–F train
Overheard by: Braincurve
Tourist on cell: Yeah! I’m in New York! Yeah, it’s kinda like New Orleans, except bigger and you can’t drink in the streets.
–Grand Central
Man on bicycle: New York is about freedom! Suck a dick!
–Astor Place
Overheard by: Laura
Guy watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre trailer: See, that’s why I never leave New York. You never see crazy motherfuckers like that in New York…except for niggas on the train.
–Regal Cinemas, Court St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Clitoris Rex
Little girl: There’s a lot of people in this New York City!
–Times Square
Texan mom: It says here that the French gave this statue as a gift.
Texan dad: Ain’t no way France coulda sent that. They ain’t got no boat big enough.
Texan mom: But it says here…
Texan dad: Ain’t possible means ain’t possible. Gittit?
–Liberty Island
Overheard by: Colman
8-year-old tourist-in-training, looking at transsexual: Do people in New York all look like that?
Mother: No, not all, but most of them don’t look like they did in Kansas.
–LaGuardia Airport
Girl: I think Elvis died on my birthday…No, wait, Elvis died on Madonna’s birthday. Why do I always get that confused?
–36th St
Geeky guy: Dudes, we are staying at the Bellagio. That gives us instant credibility.
–Jet Blue Terminal, JFK
Overheard by: Dungy
