Wednesday One-Liners Make Your Eyes Water

Young man to another: And I was like, "No, man. A girl ain't supposed to smell like that, yo."

–Broadway & 37th St

Overheard by: glm

Loud Long Island woman to drunk friends: Yeah, I got really used to that smell once he came back from Nepal…

–LIRR

Guy to girl: I don't want to bring home a girl who smells like urine.

–36th & 5th

Hipster 20-something to preteen sister: This does not smell like Costa Rica! (pauses, as though to make sure) 14th Street in New York City does not smell like Costa Rica!

–14th St & 7th Ave

Overheard by: David

Man complaining to friend: If she does that one more time… I mean, if that bitch comes home one more time with her breath smelling like some other guy's dick, I swear to fucking god… I'll leave her.

–Times Square

Overheard by: drekdude

Posted on October 28, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, BJs, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Drunks, Friends, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Infidelity, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Nicknames & name calling, One-liners, Pee, Penis, Scents of the City, Sensory Experiences, Sisters, Street, The Village, Times Square, Trains Not Subway, Travel, Tweens, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Then They Make Me Dance on a Pole As Punishment

Tween girl #1: My nickname with my parents is “buns”.
Tween girl #2: Everyone in my family calls me “hottie”. But when I get in trouble, I get called by my full name.

–5th Ave & 57th St

Overheard by: Bemused

Posted on October 20, 2009
Family Ties, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Names, Nicknames & name calling, Parents, Tweens

For the Last Time, the Hamburger Helper Does Not Count

Hoochie hispanic preteen #1: I can't fit into Victoria's Secret.
Hoochie hispanic preteen #2: Oh please, even my mom fits into Victoria's Secret, and she has three hands.
Hoochie hispanic preteen #1: Mmm-hmm. (shakes head approvingly)

–Staten Island

Overheard by: I'm sorry it was hard not to hear

Posted on October 20, 2009
Body Parts, Clothing, Hootchies, Latinos, Parents, Staten Island, Tweens

Psh, Like Wendy's Is Kosher

Cashier: What would you like to order?
Tween: A cheeseburger.
Cashier: Do you want cheese on that cheeseburger?

–Wendy's

Overheard by: Chelsea

Posted on October 15, 2009
Cashiers, Junk Food & Fast Food, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Stupidity, Tweens, Wishes & desires

I'm Going Girlier This Season

Tween girl #1: So yeah, then we played chicken at the skate park.
Tween girl #2: That sounds really painful.
Tween girl #1: You know, it really was!

–Central Park Zoo

Overheard by: Wincingprep

Posted on October 10, 2009
Birds, Central Park, Girls, Parks, Sensory Experiences, Tweens

Hamas: Finally, Someone Gets It

12-year-old boy #1: Why do they call them African Americans?
12-year-old boy #2: Because they're from Africa, but they live in America.
12-year-old boy #1: But they don't call me a Macedonian American! They don't call you a… What are you again?
12-year-old boy #2: I'm Israeli.
12-year-old boy #1: Yeah, well, that doesn't count. “Israeli” is not a country.

–M79 Bus

Posted on October 8, 2009
Bus, Foreigners, Global Geography, On the Bus, Questions, Race, Stupidity, Tweens, Words

He Also Thinks The Clap Is a Device That Turns Your Lights on and Off

Preteen emo boy #1: What's “gonorrhea”?
Preteen emo boy #2: An STD.
Preteen emo boy #1: Seriously? I thought it was a species of fish!

–Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum

Posted on August 4, 2009
Animals & Nature, Boys, More museums, Questions, STDs, Stupidity, Tweens, Words

Tiffani Never Did Get to the Part Where They Consumed It

Tween girl with whiskers painted on face: Did you hear what happened?
Tween friend: No, what?
Tween girl with whiskers painted on face: She pooped in a cup!
(both laugh hysterically)

–Bleecker & Mercer

Overheard by: sunny day.

Posted on July 19, 2009
Friends, Laughter, Poop, Questions, Rumor Has It, The Village, Tweens

Hey, Who Took Whom to a Musical?

12-year-old boy to older brother, as they leave the theater: I liked that! I loved the ending! What'd you think!?
Older brother, shrugging: Eh, it was okay, I guess.
12-year-old boy: No! It was great! I was really rooting for the wicked witch!
Older brother: Dude, you're so queer.

–Wicked Theatre