Wednesday, with a One-Liner Chaser

Female day-drinking tourist: Oh shit, I left my vodka in the church!

–Outside Trinity Church

Man on cell: If it's possible to ferment it, we have fermented it.

–7th St b/w 2nd & 3rd Ave

Middle-aged man to younger man: You know how cats and dogs–they eat and then they go? In one end and out the other. I'm like that. My bladder has room for the equivalent of one good cocktail.

–10th Ave and W 50th St

Overheard by: Ah….middle age

Commuter at 8 am: Beer. Beer.

–Grand Central

Overheard by: baconista

Old drunk walking into a liquor store, to clerk: Have you got my prescription?

–Broadway & 106th St

Overheard by: rickbruner

Posted on April 13, 2021
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Church, Clerks, Compare/Contrast, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Food, Gay Man's Best Friend, Grand Central, Height, Man's Best Friend, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Old People, On Cell, One-liners, Passengers, Questions, Store, Street, Stupidity, Tourism, Tourists, Train Station, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Wednesday Conga Liners

Man on cell: Yeah, so do you know that show Dancing with the Stars? They got the idea for it from the camera in my shower.

–6th Ave & 55th St

Overheard by: Alicia

Aging badass to lady friend: Yeah, I totally got escorted out of a Tom Petty concert for dancing in the aisles.

–17th St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: Original Badass

Black guy: Hey everybody! Stop what you're doing! There's two black guys about to dance on this train! That's something you don't see often!

–A Train

Flamboyant gay man to friend: You can't sashay in there. There's no room to sashay at all.

–Outside LGBT Community Center, during Fur Ball

Overheard by: pandarants

Drunk Asian girl: It's always time to dance in North Korea.

–2nd St & Ave B

Posted on March 31, 2021
Dancing, Global Geography, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Public Transportation, Race, Trains Not Subway, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

Dare We Ask about the “New Anal”?

Girl wielding pen: Sometimes I want to write on your face.
Guy: That’s okay. Sometimes I want to cum on your face.
Girl: Yeah, I know you do. I saw your porn collection.
Guy: So sue me. But look, I’m not talking about covering your face in jizz. Just a little on the side.
Girl: A little on the side?
Guy: Like on your cheek or the corner of your mouth.
Girl: I don’t think so.
Guy: You should. It’s only polite. Especially if you like me. It’s like the new swallowing.

–Fish Bar, East Village

Overheard by: John-John

Posted on March 23, 2021
Couples, Cum, Union Square and East Village

I Knew We Shouldn’t Have Moved to Chelsea

Little girl: Where are we going now?
Mother: Chinatown.
Little girl: Vagina town?
Mother, chuckling: No — China-town.
Little girl, coyly: Well, I live in peeenis-town.
Mother: Okay, Lila.

–Union Square

Overheard by: S.S.

Posted on March 18, 2021
Default, Kids, Moms, NYC Geography, Should've Used a Condom, Union Square and East Village, Words

For a Straight Guy, That's Always a Persuasive Argument

Hipster guy: So, I just don't have room.
Smartass girl: You have room for me in your bed.
Hipster guy, after long pause: Ummm, maybe.

–St. Mark's & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Yours Truly

Posted on March 17, 2021
Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Home, Sweet Home, Sex, Union Square and East Village

At Least Wednesday One-Liners Are Pretty

Girl to friend: I wonder what’s the difference between hard tacos and soft tacos.

–Line at Taco Bell, Queens Mall Food Court

Overheard by: NTA

Guy talking to his friend: I don’t believe there is a first time for everything, but I do think there is a first time for anything.

–2nd St & Ave B

Overheard by: Max Berlinger

Girl on cell in hallway: She told me to get bacterial soap.

–Fordham University, Rose Hill

Overheard by: Krisztina ,who uses anti-bacterial

Subway comedian: My wife is so stupid. I told her to take the 2 train, she took the 1 twice. [Awkward silence follows. Comedian proceeds to dance around a subway pole pretending to be a stripper.]

–1 Train

Overheard by: Subway rider

Guy on cell: Dude, you’ve got to stop doing this "living paycheck to paycheck" thing because every time you get a check it’s like an emotional highway.

–Columbia University Campus

Overheard by: Alina

College girl, after closing a Nutella jar: I solved it! I solved the puzzle!

–Broome St

Overheard by: YJL

Posted on March 14, 2021
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Comedians, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Girls, Guys, Happiness, Health and Hygiene, Insults, Junk Food & Fast Food, Money & Class, On Cell, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Queens, Restaurants & Cafes, Sorority Girls, Stupidity, The Bronx, Union Square and East Village, Words

Been Propping My Ass Up with ‘Em for Years

Guy, during pillow fight: I’m afraid my pillow has all these STDs now!
Girl: Hellooo, you can’t transmit STDs pillow-to-pillow!

–Union Square

Posted on March 11, 2021
STDs, Strangers, Union Square and East Village

New York Does Not Do Hyphenation, Douche

Guy: I’m a NyLon.
Girl: A what?
Guy: A NyLon. New York-Londoner.
Girl: Oh, well, I’m a NoInt.
Guy: NoInt?
Girl: Yeah, Not Interested.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Lucy Stone

Posted on February 28, 2021
Assholes, Global Geography, Insults, NYC Geography, Union Square and East Village

…As Soon As You Fall Asleep

Stoner #1: Yo, I’m Superman.
Stoner #2: If you’re Superman, I’m Superman too.
Stoner #1: How the hell can you be Superman?
Stoner #2: I’ll show you later!

–14th St., Union Square

Overheard by: Supacat

Posted on February 6, 2021
Default, Friends, Questions, Stoners, Street, Superheroes, Union Square and East Village

Union Square and East Village