Guy: I’m crazy about her! Every time I go down on her, her pussy tastes like hummus!
–East Village
Overheard by: Nicole Weber
Guy: I’m crazy about her! Every time I go down on her, her pussy tastes like hummus!
–East Village
Overheard by: Nicole Weber
Guy, on Nextel: Hey, honey.
Girl, on other end of Nextel: Dad, I'm pissed! I think he's cheating on me.
Guy: Why do you say that?
Girl: Cause my vagina is itchy and red.
Guy: Well, maybe you should go get checked.
Girl: But dad, what should I do?
Guy: Honey, let me call you back, I'm about to pay the cashier… call you in a little.
–33rd & Madison
Overheard by: OZoNE
Woman on cell: Number one: I'll tell you what you can do with that fish. You can shove it right up your ass! (pause) Number two: You know what you can do with that fish? You can shove it right up your ass!
–Steps, The Met
Overheard by: gossipgirlish
Boy to mother: Mama, can we surprise grandpa with a catfish?
–Central Park East
Overheard by: walter
Woman reading map: No dead fish in Nebraska.
–D Train
Overheard by: Sunny
Girl to guy friend at hip hop show: That chick just sprayed her coochie with perfume. Now it smells like a fish died and the other fish sent flowers.
–Voodoo Lounge, 1st Ave
Drunk brunette #1 to cop: We're what you call us… Badge bangers!
Drunk brunette #2: Yeah!
–Canal & Centre
Overheard by: Tits McGhee
Black man in suit and expensive loafers, on cell: Bring me the box, unopened. (cackles) Bring it to me.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Samantha
Janitor, looking at bathroom floor: Oh, I don't need this! Look at this water all over the floor! All over the place! Why don't you clean your pussy at home? Pour Evian all over the floor so you can clean your pussy–clean your dirty pussy at home! I don't need this! Water all over the floor!
–Bathroom, Port Authority Bus Terminal
Kid on cell: So I rubbed it really hard and really fast… and I made her throw up.
–Marble Hill High School
Drinker to friend, while playing flip cup: I will throw up in your pussy wagon.
–Whiskey Tavern, Chinatown
Woman: I'm really glad it wasn't the Prozac making her throw up… just her other meds.
–33rd St & Park Ave
Girl: My uterus is vomiting!
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Man to woman on lunch date: Pussy makes the world go round. When you're 85, dyin', you don't want to regret it if you never got to stick your head up there, or whatever. You wanna die sated.
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Christine
Man, as two women approach: Vagiiiiiina, vagiiiiiiiiiiiina, vagiiiiiiiiiiiiiinaaaaaaa!
–Washington Square
Overheard by: Joe
Hipster on cell: I don't even know you! I do not want to see your vagina.
–Park Ave & 22nd St
Overheard by: Sophia
Suit on cell: I'm gonna cut off her cunt and make her wear it as a hat!
–Times Square
Teenager to friend: That girl has a Stargate vagina. You put it in and, bam, a kid pops out!
–Catherine St & Madison St
Girl at speed dating event: …like my vagina!
–Watering Hole, E 19th St
Skinny obnoxious blonde: Sheryl had a shirt that said "I love Wayne's dick." And I was like "Sheryl, why are you wearing that to the outback?"
–AMC Movie Theater
Girl to guy: Epic fail, you have a non-working dick.
–2nd Ave & 9th St
Guy on cell: Hello, this is sweet dick. Can I speak to tight pussy?
–West Village
Man to another: So last night, I was playing with my dick, and…
–Times Square
Overheard by: Dusty F.
Man on cell: He don't answer to "Leon" no more. He is now "Dick Dastardly."
–Union Square
Overheard by: Muttley
Hip-hop dude #1: Dude! Her pussy is like the TARDIS on Doctor Who! So small and dainty on the outside, but roomy on the inside.
Hip-hop dude #2: Can it time-travel?
–Brooklyn
