Violence

Wednesday One-liners Turn It Up a Notch

Teen girl: God, you are so self-conscious sometimes I want to punch you in the face.

–A train

Overheard by: Niki

Posted on March 29, 2006
Anger Management, Asians, Brooklyn, Health and Hygiene, Kink, Lower East Side, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On the Subway, One-liners, Park Slope, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Relationships, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Staten Island Ferry, Subway conductors, Teens, Thugs, Trains Not Subway, Violence

I’m Assuming This is Somehow Racist

Cop #1: When I’m fucking a cunt, I like to hurt it. You like to hurt a cunt when you’re fucking it?
Cop #2: Yeah. What do I give a fuck? It ain’t my cunt.

–Police Plaza

Overheard by: Steve Bookocki

Posted on March 25, 2006
Brooklyn, Getting Off, Jobs & Careers, National Security, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Violence

The Blind Man Was a Bluff

JAP #1: So then he like…stuck his stick up her hoo-ha!
JAP #2: Like in her area? You mean he went for the cash and prizes?
JAP #1: Yeah! So he like… hit her there with his stick, and she spun around and was like, “What the fuck?”, but then was like, “Oh, you’re blind.” But I don’t care. It’s fucked up.

–University & Waverly

Overheard by: tj

Posted on March 25, 2006
Anger Management, Backdoor, JAPs, Manhattan, Sex, Sex & Relationships, The Village, Violence

Thank God He Had Life Alert

Guy #1: So I was standin’ in front of the door in the train the other day, and this old lady shoves me like three times when the doors opened. I stepped aside to look at her and I pushed her like this.
Guy #2: What did she do?
Guy #1: She just looked and me and walked out. Fucking bitch!

–N train

Posted on March 18, 2006
Anger Management, Old People, On the Subway, Violence

More Like France

Dad: Do you know what a eunuch is?
Teen boy: Sure, it’s a place in Germany.
Dad: No, it is a man whose balls have been cut off.
Teen boy: In Germany?

–27th & 6th

Posted on March 17, 2006
Body Parts, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Parents, Should've Used a Condom, Teens, Violence

His Sense of Humor was Also Enhanced

Blind man: Excuse me ma’am, coming through…Excuse me, miss.
Woman: Damn! Watch yourself with that fucking walking stick! Shit! And how the fuck did you know I was a woman? Can that shit tell you genders too? Ha, ha!
Blind man: Not quite, but you smell like stale fish so I figured you were a woman. Have a nice day!

–E train

Overheard by: Shanny O.

Posted on March 12, 2006
Etiquette, Ghetto Chicks, On the Subway, Violence

Wednesday One-liners with an Attitude

Girl on cell: Can you hear me when I roll my eyes?

–82nd & York

Posted on March 1, 2006
Anger Management, Arts & Letters, Brooklyn, Ghetto Chicks, Lower East Side, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, More museums, On Cell, On the Bus, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Relationships, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Sports, Staten Island Ferry, Teens, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Violence, Yoga

Wednesday One-liners Flip Channels

Guy on pay phone: Hey Tom, it’s Jerry.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Matthew Suss

Posted on March 1, 2006
About Celebrities, Anger Management, BJs, College, Crazies, Death, Fashion, Fordham, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Pop Culture, Queens, Retail Therapy, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Stupidity, The Bronx, TV, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Violence, White People

“This muffin tastes funny.”

Shopgirl: Can I help anyone with anything?
Man: Yeah, can you give me a lobotomy? ‘Cause I really need one.
Shopgirl: Sorry, no.
Man: C’mon, just bring out a sledgehammer!

–Magnolia Bakery, Bleecker Street

Posted on February 24, 2006
Anger Management, Death, Manhattan, Restaurants & Cafes, The Village, Violence

Clothes Make the Wednesday One-liners

Guy: You know, for a hundred dollars, you can get that old mink stole
made into a teddy bear!

–M104 bus

Overheard by: Ron Caldwell

Posted on February 22, 2006
Brooklyn, College, Columbia (& Barnard), Crazies, Fashion, Hipsters, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Old People, On the Bus, On the Subway, One-liners, Queens, Queers, Restaurants & Cafes, Retail Therapy, Shopping, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Violence