Woman #1: You totally should get knocked up by him. With the child support you'd get, you'd be set for life.
Woman #2: I know! Right?
–Gym, Columbia University
Overheard by: Alison R.
Woman #1: You totally should get knocked up by him. With the child support you'd get, you'd be set for life.
Woman #2: I know! Right?
–Gym, Columbia University
Overheard by: Alison R.
Comedy guy promoter to young JAP: Comedy show! Comedy show! Hey, do you like comedy?
Young JAP: Um… no.
Comedy guy: Come on, they're funny… just come!
Young JAP: Umm… no.
Comedy guy: Fine, don't come. But do you like tall skinny white men? Wanna go on a date?
Young JAP: Again: umm… no.
–14th St & Broadway
Headline by: Kelly Combs
Runners-Up:
· “Feigned Hesitation Is the Cruelest Of the Sarcastic Arts” – Aaron
· “How About Puppies? Everyone Likes Puppies!” – CJ
· “JAP Has No Sense Of Humor, Film at 11” – samson
· “She Actually Just Has a Rare Form Of Tourettes…” – Molly
· “What About Money?! I Bet You Like That!” – Zak Santucci
Mystical store clerk to very serious customer: Yeah, I went through like half the winter like without the appropriate headbands!
–Bookstore
Overheard by: teen
Older woman to younger woman: At least you're not wearing windpants anymore. That's an improvement right there.
–Bedford Ave & N 5th St
Middle-aged businessman to two others: In my life I've seen, at most, three people who look good in spandex.
–40th St b/w 5th & Madison Ave
Teen on cell: I think we're going to need something more supportive than a fanny pack.
–113th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Jeremy
Fabulous hobo: Why does a homeless man wear couture? Because he wants to show off!
–Union Square
Professor, seriously: Were you involved in the jelly bean incident?
–Physics Hallway, Trinity School
Overheard by: Siena
CSR: Stale peeps are excellent! Now, that is one finely-aged peep.
–Hudson & Houston
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Man to friends sitting on bench: You either look at the girl or you look at the ice cream!
–Outside Sundaes & Cones, 10th & 3rd
Overheard by: The Girl Anonymous
Cheerful gift shop clerk on phone: So I got my peanut buttercups and then Anne* saw me on the street and came up to me, and punched me in the face and was all "Give me a peanut buttercup!" and I said "but there are only two in the package and I was saving one for Robert*!" Then she punched me in the face again!
–The Cloisters
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Greek waitress: Ice cream without whipped cream is like… girl without boyfriend!
–Diner, Bay Ridge
Overheard by: Jon A.
Boy to girl: Hey, when you die, can I have your body?
Girl: To do what with?
Boy: Um…
–Cafeteria, The Bronx
Guy: She should be taking on an extra load now.
Girl: She should be taking everyone's load.
–PATH
Cashier to woman hurrying towards exit: Hey! What are you doing?
Woman: What? I ain't done nothin'.
Cashier: Where's the bag of beer that was on this counter? You took it.
Woman: No I didn't! I didn't! I don't got no beer!
Cashier: Yes, you do. You have it. Now give it back.
Woman: I don't know what you talkin' about! (runs out the door, holding something under her jacket)
(older male employee walks in)
Man: What was that?
Cashier: She just stole from us, Mike! Follow her!
Man: Nah, calm down. It's not a big deal.
Cashier: She took your beer!
Man: What? (runs after her)
–Hallmark, Park Slope
Overheard by: Concerned
Gay man, getting off plane, to gay flight attendant: Hey, it's great to see you again!
Female flight attendant: Have you been here recently?
Gay flight attendant: Hell no, girl. I haven't been here in forever. I don't know who the fuck that man is.
–LaGuardia Airport
Middle aged man #1: Blah blah blah, global warming is bad, blah blah blah.
Middle aged man #2: I'm a landlord. I eat global warming!
–95th St & Columbus Ave
Overheard by: shmilda
Man #1, watching firemen climb a ladder and enter a brownstone: What are they doing? Why are there so many of them?
Man #2: Maybe somebody got stuck in the bathtub.
Man #1: You're probably right.
–75th St & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Stephanie
