Weirdness

Drunken guy to stoned guy: I would kiss you, but you might remember.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Lo

Girl: And so he's like, "I kissed you on the mouth last night", and I'm like "oh really? I didn't know."

–Prospect Park

Overheard by: jaytro

Dude on cell: Yeah, bro, leave it to me. I decide to cheat on my wife and I end with some stupid whore who wants to play kissie-face in a fucking Newark parking lot.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: AdHoculi

Cute girl approaches frat boy at bar: I was going to pretend I don't know you, but I do know you, and now I think I want to kiss you. Is that okay?

–Clinton & Montague, Brooklyn Heights

Latina girl on cell: Well, my cousin died two years ago, right, and on the one-year anniversary that's when I kissed him.

–Outside Victoria Fashions, 116th & 3rd

Overheard by: Chuckles

Older German woman with accent: So when she was little she used to take a bunch of sleeping pills and lay on the floor, and she wouldn't get up until someone kissed her! It was so cute!

–1 Train

Overheard by: EthanK

Guy: Ugh, it's raining again.
Girl: Well, at least it's not raining shit.

–Outside the Guggenheim

Guy #1: Dude, don't look behind you.
Guy #2 (looking): Oh great, it's a giant stack of Scene It?, the DVD movie game. I was wondering why I felt like burning this place to the ground.
Guy #2: Fuck that game.

–Borders, Colubus Circle

Man with four traffic cones slung over his shoulder: They took our fuckin' cones, man.
Friend: They what?
Man: I'm taking our fuckin' cones back. They stole our fuckin' cones.

–5th Ave & 13th St

Construction worker #1 (yelling): We got one big one and two little ones!
Construction worker #2: What? One what?
Construction worker #1: One big one, like your sister!

–Spring St & Crosby St

Woman with baby to subway attendant: How do I get to the Empire Trade Center from Canal St?
Friend: Nah, how do we get to where them Twin Towers fell at?

–Atlantic Ave, Brooklyn

Guy #1: Shoot him in the dick!
Girl playing Big Buck Hunter: I like dicks, but usually I make them do the shooting!
Guy #2: I like where this is headed!

–Black Bear Lodge

Overheard by: DR G LUV

Guy, excitedly: Have you seen 2 Girls 1 Cup?
Girl: No.
Guy, deflated: Oh…you don't want to know about that then.

–NYU

Old man: Do you want a pretzel?
Old woman: No, I don't want a pretzel! If I wanted a pretzel I'd ask for a pretzel!

–Times Square

Crazy guy: How long it take you to read that book?
Book reader: A few days.
Crazy guy: I got some books back at my apartment. You try to read 'em, you have a glitch. You gotta open up the creative part of your mind to read these. You gotta have a serious mental illness.

–E Train