Do I Hear the Pitter Patter Of Tiny Wednesday One-Liners?

Sassy lady on cell: I tell you, he got the wrong bitch pregnant!

–Union Square

Overheard by: Stunned!

Girl: Ugh, pregnancy would be like, so much worse than gonorrhea.

–John Jay Dining Hall, Columbia University

Overheard by: jane

AT&T employee: Yeah, when I had my daughter I actually didn't have to stay overnight in the hospital. See, usually, after you have the baby, you have to pass the placenta. The doctor actually reached up inside me and just pulled it out, just like that. He told me I was fine to go home after that, so I did.

–AT&T Store, Union Square

20-something on cell: But I refused to go down on him…I told him I'm not ready to have a baby. (pause) Of course you can get pregnant by swallowing! Hello? Did you not take sex-ed in high school?

–61st St & Lexington Ave

Woman on cell: It's such a small opening, and it gets torn apart when you have a kid!

–42nd St & Park Ave

Overheard by: Weekender

20-something on cell: But I'm tired of always being pregnant.

–East Village

Overheard by: also tired

Posted on March 29, 2015
9 to 5-ers, All Wednesday One-Liners, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Compare/Contrast, Family Ties, Girls, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Pregnancy & Birth Control, School and studying, Sex, STDs, Store, Street, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Some Shot!

Young Woman: Are you part Italian?
Older Woman: I’m Italian by injection!

–Private party, NYC

Posted on March 28, 2015
Global Geography, Idiots, Manhattan, Old People, Questions, Race, Stupidity, Women, Words

She Is Pretty Fat, Though

Thug, quietly to young girlfriend: Get it, get it. (then loudly to woman about to steal the seat) Miss, she's pregnant! Miss, she's pregnant! (to girlfriend) Show her your belly. Nah, just playin, she just fat.
Woman: That's… not nice.

–A Train

Posted on March 28, 2015
Diet/Weight, Girlfriends, On the Subway, Physical appearance, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Public Transportation, Thugs, Women

Raise Your Hand If You've Had This Same Fight

Angry 20-something woman: The main problem is that our whole relationship is just about your dick.
30-something man, carrying loads of shopping bags: Well, it's about your pussy too.

–Madison Ave

Overheard by: itgoesandgoes

Posted on March 27, 2015
Men, Penis, Relationships, Street, Vagina, Women

What Is It About Alt-world Neil Patrick Harris?

40-something woman #1: Look at his little face! Look at his little pink face!
40-something woman #2: Oh. My. God.
40-something woman #1: Look at his little pink face!
40-something woman #2: Isn't he cute?! Look at him!
40-something woman #1: So cute.
40-something woman #2: On my god! I can't believe how cute he is.
40-something woman #1: He is so cute! His little pink face!
40-something woman #2: So cute.
(pause)
40-something woman #1: Isn't he cute?!?!
40-something woman #2: Oh. My. God. So. Fucking. Cute.
40-something woman #1: I love him! He's so cute!
40-something woman #2: So cute.
40-something woman #1: I just can't stand it!

–14D Bus

Posted on March 26, 2015
Beauty, Body Parts, Bus, Love, On the Bus, Women

When You’re That Old, the Vagina Looks Like Just Another Wrinkle

Sophisticated old lady #1: I had no clean panties tonight.
Sophisticated old lady #2: Well, just go commando.
Sophisticated old lady #1: Yeah, that is what I did.
Sophisticated old lady #2: Yeah, I always go commando.

–San Pietro restaurant, E 54th St

Posted on March 25, 2015
Advice, Clothing, Default, Intelligentsia, Old People, Restaurants & Cafes, Women

What the Banner in the Airport Should Say

(girl runs into a woman crossing the street)
Woman (turning to confront girl): Are you kidding me?!
Girl: Are you kidding me?
Woman: Can’t you see?!
Girl: Watch where you’re going!
Woman: Are you kidding me!?
Girl: Oh god! This is New York, get over it!

–40th St & 6th Ave

Posted on March 25, 2015
Bryant Park, Default, Girls, Only in New York, Questions, Women

Make These Women the Surrealism Section

Younger woman: I can’t believe how crowded it is.
Older woman: That’s because they just reopened after being relocated in the Bronx.

–The Met

Posted on March 23, 2015
Museums, Upper East Side, Women

Translation: I Would Kill to Be Her

Fat ugly woman: I mean she is not a pretty girl, but she is a great dancer.
Thin ugly woman: Yeah, she can definitely dance.
Fat ugly woman: Dance yes, but there is something wrong with her face.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Hannah

Posted on March 23, 2015
Beauty, Body Parts, Compare/Contrast, Dancing, Fat People, Physical appearance, Skinny People, Times Square, Women