Lady: Excuse me, do you know how to get to the Holliswood Hospital?
Teen: Holliswood Mental Hospital?
Lady: Yes, the Holliswood Psychiatric Hospital.
Teen: Yeah, like I said, the mental hospital.
Lady: Psychiatric.
Teen: Mental.
–Union Turnpike & 188th
Overheard by: Zeve
Tourist kid: Mom, am I fat?
Tourist mom: Yes. Now get in the airplane.
Tourist kid: Dad says I’m husky.
Tourist mom: That means fat.
–U.S.S. Intrepid
Father: Look at that sign. What do you think mela means?
Son: I don’t know.
Father: Look at the picture.
Son: Oh, apple! So it’s, like, an Applebee’s?
–Little Italy
Goth girl: You are such a disillusioned youth!
Goth guy: Wait, what does that even mean?
Goth girl: How should I know? I just think it sounds good.
–Claire’s Accessories
Woman on cell: When you assume, you make an ass of yourself.
–4th Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Mark
Hipster: Yo, what’s up with Filene’s Basement? That shit’s on the top floor!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Tourist: Is that the Enron building?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Robyn
Tourist to security guard: Are these all originals?
–Impressionist Gallery, the Met
Overheard by: j-diddy
Female tourist: I could never live in Central America because I’d miss the ocean.
–Restaurant bathroom, Little Italy
Overheard by: Olia
Girl looking at subway map: What about that thing, that star–“You are here”? They don’t have that?
–(Moving) uptown 1 train, 59th St
Overheard by: Jo
White hipster girl: Is black semen black?
–86th & Park
Doctor: What do you mean you vomited? When did you find the time to vomit? I don’t care if you’re in California, get on a plane back here! What do you mean, you vomited? How could you?!
–Lenox Hill Hospital
Overheard by: mademoisellezoo
Guy on cell: Yo, did you get me my plane ticket? I need to fuck this guy up and get the hell out of here.
–MacDougal St
Overheard by: Lauren
Metro NY guy: Take the fuckin’ paper!
–42nd & Vanderbilt
Overheard by: didn’t take the fuckin’ paper
Hipster boyfriend to hipster girlfriend: You can go fuck, fuck, fuck yourself, and I don’t fucking care, you fuck.
–Bleecker & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Patty K.
Guy on cell: Fucking? Are you Fucking?…Beating off?…What’s that sound?…I don’t know; I’m out of guesses!
–14th & 5th
Overheard by: Thompson
Construction worker, building a new school: So we fucked it up. It’s Friday anyway. I don’t have to look at it no more.
–35th St & 35th Ave, Astoria
Overheard by: Jillian B.
Suit: And now she wants to be involved in my strategic planning initiative? Fuck her!
–Rockefeller Plaza
Overheard by: Brendan Rogak
Little girl, receiving a stuffed frog from her parents: Fucking frog!!
–122nd & Amsterdam
Overheard by: frog-waiting-to-be-kissed
Queer #1: What did he just say?
Queer #2: He called you maricon. It means faggot in Spanish.
Queer #1: Oh, thank God. I thought he called me Mexican. I was about to be really offended.
–Lorimer St, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Ray
Brooklyn guy: All I’m sayin’ is it goes without sayin’.
–Brooklyn bound D train
Overheard by: Robert Barry Francos
Hoochie on cell: I don’t want that. I’m looking for sauce. Sauce sauce sauce sauce sauce! S-A-U-S-C-E. Sauce!
–Waldbaum’s, Whitestone, Queens
Overheard by: Liz the Overheardista
Teen girl: Do you think Christmas will ever be on Friday the 13th?
–Times Square
Woman in elevator: She said 13…Where’s 13? What the… fuck? There’s no 13. Should I press 12? Or 14? What?…She said 13. Well I’ll just press both.
–22nd & Broadway
Overheard by: staring at the button for 13
Elderly woman, regarding painting: Would you look at the detail he put into this. It almost looks two dimensional.
–The Met
Overheard by: s.gothman
Tween boy: Did the dinosaurs come before or after Bible times?
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Omg! He did not just ask that!
Girl: This has sterile in it. I can’t buy this; I’m allergic to sterile.
–Duane Reade, 17th & 3rd
Overheard by: mk
American woman, to Arab cashier: What, you didn’t understand what I said? Man, you illiterate.
–Classon Ave, Brooklyn
Chick: I mean, I wasn’t really mentally thinking about it.
–Great Lawn, Central Park
Frat boy: Why do they call it “Steak Shack” when it doesn’t sell steaks?
–Shake Shack, Madison Sq Park
Drunk teen girl, raising her beer: Here’s to independence…and the only country that’s got it!
–Waterside Plaza
Overheard by: David Slone
Teen girl: Rebecca wanted to get brown. But brown is such a black color…Well, not that it’s black. But you know.
–D train
Overheard by: Rachel
Young guy to his girlfriend: Shut your fuckin’ mouth when you’re talking to me!
–Outside of K-mart, Astor Place
Overheard by: snap snap
