Ghetto girl #1: Smut. What is “smut”?
Ghetto girl #2: “Smut”? Sounds like “slut.”
Ghetto girl #1: Yeah. I think it's like “slut,” but for a man.
Ghetto girl #2: Cause it has an “m” for men.
–31st St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Sco108
Ghetto girl #1: Smut. What is “smut”?
Ghetto girl #2: “Smut”? Sounds like “slut.”
Ghetto girl #1: Yeah. I think it's like “slut,” but for a man.
Ghetto girl #2: Cause it has an “m” for men.
–31st St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Sco108
Drunk Southern chick: And I knew that when he said “fuck you” it was over… You'd never say that to me, would you?
Sober Southern guy: (stares blankly)
Drunk Southern chick: Yeah, I know you would.
–Lower East Side
Overheard by: I Agree With Him
Hipster guy: Be right back. (ten minutes later, comes back and sits down) Nevermind.
Hipster girl: You can't “nevermind” a “be right back” ten minutes into said “be right back” time. It then goes from being a “nevermind” to a “back.”
Hipster guy: I was only gone a second…
Hipster girl: It was still a valid time to say “back.” Not “nevermind”.
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Rad Rayna
20-something redhead to friend, while texting: Wait… Maryland is down, and New York is up, right? I mean map-wise.
Friend: What the fuck?
20-something redhead, no longer texting: I had so much fun tonight. Can we do this again… lately?
Friend: Uhhh, do you mean “soon”?
20-something redhead: Yeah. Soon, lately, you know what I mean.
–Windsor Court, Murray Hill
Bimbo #1 with yoga mat: Have you ever done the two-hour boot camp workout thing?
Bimbo #2 with yoga mat: No, but I hear it's as bad as being in a contraception camp.
–72nd & Columbus
4-year-old boy to father waiting in line to buy ice cream cone: I used to like chocolate, but not so much anymore. (pauses to consider) Now I think it's disgusting.
Father, shocked: That's pretty strong language!
–Bittersweet Cafe, DeKalb Ave
Overheard by: Hilariter
Girl to loser boyfriend: You wonder why we have all these problems? It's like, no matter what I say, everything goes in one ear and out the other with you.
Loser boyfriend: Nah babe, I listen to everything you say.
Girl: No, you don't–it's like I'm speaking another language…
Loser boyfriend: What do you mean “another language”?
Girl, getting upset: Nothing fuckin registers in that head of yours. We have all this shit to deal with because you don't know what the fuck I say. You say you listen but you just don't register nothing. Like I'm speaking another language or some shit!
Loser boyfriend, looking at another girl: So… what are you sayin'?
–South Ferry
Girlfriend: Learn anything new today?
Boyfriend: How to say “sexual offender” in Japanese!
–Central Park
Overheard by: lynn
Student, referring to pinus: Wait, does that actually mean “penis”?
Latin teacher: No. But once I made a joke about penises in a paper in college and my teacher wrote, “never do this”.
(class laughs)
Latin teacher: So guys, don't play with your penises!
–Bard High School Early College
Overheard by: Theseus
