Woman: I need to pick up my child from daycare, where would she be?
Security guard: What age group?
Woman: I think she’s one.
–Rockefeller Plaza
Woman: I need to pick up my child from daycare, where would she be?
Security guard: What age group?
Woman: I think she’s one.
–Rockefeller Plaza
Police officer to taxi driver: If you just hit one, the rest will scatter.
–Herald Square
Guy to girl, pushing her into the street: Anna versus car, who will win?
–E Houston & Ave D
Overheard by: haha
Tourist to New Yorker: You're not supposed to jaywalk!
–Herald Square
Chick to another: We didn't get hit by a car… Oh well, maybe next time.
–7th & 23rd
Overheard by: Stormy
Guy with stroller to passing car: You hit my baby, I'll take your car!
–Fordham & Hoffman
Overheard by: sromeo
Crossing guard, watching pedestrian cross in a hurry: My money's on the bus!
–Lower Manhattan
Overheard by: Steve
Girl, reading sign in front of The Met: Francis Bacon…
Boyfriend: Um?
Girl: You know that satire with human-eating babies?
Boyfriend: Uh-huh.
Girl: That was him.
–81st & 5th
Overheard by: Dana
Guy: What do you give a baby who is blind and deaf?
Girl: Television?
Guy: Cancer…Television’s a better answer.
–Washington Square South
Overheard by: Elizabeth Benefiel
Hipster #1: Why are there so many pregnant women? I don't get it.
Hipster #2: Well, nine months ago was winter. When there's a blizzard, nine months later there's just babies everywhere.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: o!valencia
20-something year old girl: So you just sat with the dead baby for six months?
20-something year old guy: I told you not to talk about this in public, you'll be sitting right next to it if you keep bringing him up around people.
–Applebee's
Overheard by: Emily
Guy on cell: They showed me the baby’s room and the crib had all these crazy functions I couldn’t understand. The baby even has a walk-in closet filled with clothes and it’s only 2 days old! They just bought a new stroller too…it probably has a built-in MP3, CD and DVD player.
–Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Astrid Vanderpool
Mom about baby crying in stroller: Ugh, I gotta go feed him.
Friend: You want me to do it?
Mom: Um, I breastfeed.
Friend: I could give it a whirl.
–Washington Square Park
Woman on cell, loudly: No, no, my baby's getting fixed that day!
–5th Ave
Yuppie thug in three-piece suit, loudly on cell while riding escalator: So you sayin' it's mines? How you know it's mines? Naw naw, how you know? Bitch, kiss my ass! If they ain't been no muh-fuckin DNA test, then they ain't been no baby sprung up outta my dick! I ain't no adoption agency!
–Borders, Penn Station
Overheard by: IJustWanttoBrowseMadonna'sBrother'sTell-AllinPeace
20-something male on cell: What did I tell you about having sex with people who have babymama problems? That's why I gave up my crush on Bristol Palin.
–110th & Broadway
Overheard by: Topical
Black lady with stroller: Ohhh, no. All y'all are not fitting into this car. Stop pushin' up on my baby. Y'all need to back that shit up now. (baby starts crying) What do you want? What do you want? Are you having hot flashes? Cause I know I am. Jesus!
–Downtown 6 Train
Overheard by: Alie
Black woman: Of all his babymamas, why he alway bothering her? He has all these babymamas and he's always bugging her. She must still be puttin' out.
–34th & Broadway
Very young pregnant woman purchasing cigarettes on: What the hell kind of difference does what you eat have on what kind of baby you have?
–Nostrand & Dean, Crown Heights
Overheard by: Siobhan
Dude: There is nothing like cereal with breast milk.
–Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Burke
Chick: How do mermaids get pregnant? They don’t have any legs.
–Office, 29th & 7th
Stroller guy: Say goodbye to your sister-slash-mother.
–Prospect Heights
Woman on cell: It’ll be fabulous! He’s die and she’ll get pregnant.
–West 4th & Macdougal
Hasidic lady: Please, someone sneezes in China and I get pregnant.
–57th & Park
Overheard by: Brandy Rowell
Guy: My whole family hates me; I hope they all fucking die, even the babies.
–Central Park
Overheard by: steve alcott
Chick: What is it with me and getting pregnant?
–66th & Broadway
Guy: No, now you take the placenta home with you and eat it.
–Hill Cafe, Cobble Hill
