Girl, reading sign in front of The Met: Francis Bacon…
Boyfriend: Um?
Girl: You know that satire with human-eating babies?
Boyfriend: Uh-huh.
Girl: That was him.
–81st & 5th
Overheard by: Dana
Girl, reading sign in front of The Met: Francis Bacon…
Boyfriend: Um?
Girl: You know that satire with human-eating babies?
Boyfriend: Uh-huh.
Girl: That was him.
–81st & 5th
Overheard by: Dana
Guy: What do you give a baby who is blind and deaf?
Girl: Television?
Guy: Cancer…Television’s a better answer.
–Washington Square South
Overheard by: Elizabeth Benefiel
Hipster #1: Why are there so many pregnant women? I don't get it.
Hipster #2: Well, nine months ago was winter. When there's a blizzard, nine months later there's just babies everywhere.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: o!valencia
20-something year old girl: So you just sat with the dead baby for six months?
20-something year old guy: I told you not to talk about this in public, you'll be sitting right next to it if you keep bringing him up around people.
–Applebee's
Overheard by: Emily
Guy on cell: They showed me the baby’s room and the crib had all these crazy functions I couldn’t understand. The baby even has a walk-in closet filled with clothes and it’s only 2 days old! They just bought a new stroller too…it probably has a built-in MP3, CD and DVD player.
–Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Astrid Vanderpool
Mom about baby crying in stroller: Ugh, I gotta go feed him.
Friend: You want me to do it?
Mom: Um, I breastfeed.
Friend: I could give it a whirl.
–Washington Square Park
Woman on cell, loudly: No, no, my baby's getting fixed that day!
–5th Ave
Yuppie thug in three-piece suit, loudly on cell while riding escalator: So you sayin' it's mines? How you know it's mines? Naw naw, how you know? Bitch, kiss my ass! If they ain't been no muh-fuckin DNA test, then they ain't been no baby sprung up outta my dick! I ain't no adoption agency!
–Borders, Penn Station
Overheard by: IJustWanttoBrowseMadonna'sBrother'sTell-AllinPeace
20-something male on cell: What did I tell you about having sex with people who have babymama problems? That's why I gave up my crush on Bristol Palin.
–110th & Broadway
Overheard by: Topical
Black lady with stroller: Ohhh, no. All y'all are not fitting into this car. Stop pushin' up on my baby. Y'all need to back that shit up now. (baby starts crying) What do you want? What do you want? Are you having hot flashes? Cause I know I am. Jesus!
–Downtown 6 Train
Overheard by: Alie
Black woman: Of all his babymamas, why he alway bothering her? He has all these babymamas and he's always bugging her. She must still be puttin' out.
–34th & Broadway
Very young pregnant woman purchasing cigarettes on: What the hell kind of difference does what you eat have on what kind of baby you have?
–Nostrand & Dean, Crown Heights
Overheard by: Siobhan
Dude: There is nothing like cereal with breast milk.
–Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Burke
Chick: How do mermaids get pregnant? They don’t have any legs.
–Office, 29th & 7th
Stroller guy: Say goodbye to your sister-slash-mother.
–Prospect Heights
Woman on cell: It’ll be fabulous! He’s die and she’ll get pregnant.
–West 4th & Macdougal
Hasidic lady: Please, someone sneezes in China and I get pregnant.
–57th & Park
Overheard by: Brandy Rowell
Guy: My whole family hates me; I hope they all fucking die, even the babies.
–Central Park
Overheard by: steve alcott
Chick: What is it with me and getting pregnant?
–66th & Broadway
Guy: No, now you take the placenta home with you and eat it.
–Hill Cafe, Cobble Hill
Indian Girl: Oh my God! Our kids are going to be mad cute!
Asian Guy: Hell yeah! No doubt about it, with my looks and your height.
Indian Girl: Oh, and plus my body.
–Union Square
Girls looking at pictures: He was mad fat, but he was a good ass baby.
–Uptown A Train
Guy walking through sea of sun bathers: There aren't even that many fat people here… That's good.
–Sheep Meadow, Central Park
Guy on cell: You're not skinny fat, no.
–East Village
Guy on cell phone: You mean you're not going to fatso's wedding!
–N Train
Overheard by: wasn't even invited
Female suit: Why the hell does Weight Watchers have so many big fat people working in their offices, anyway? That's so not inspiring!
–40th & Madison Ave
Guy on phone: You mean the really nice one? She got big? What do you mean by big? (pause) Oh. Well, she has an exceptionally beautiful face, man. Do the right thing.
–9th & 15th
Overheard by: Courtney
