Girl #1: And I was like, “Hell, no! Do not have his baby! Do not have his baby! Please!”
Girl #2: Mmm hmm, for real.
–6 Train
Girl #1: And I was like, “Hell, no! Do not have his baby! Do not have his baby! Please!”
Girl #2: Mmm hmm, for real.
–6 Train
Chick #1: I dunno, I’d be scared to have kids with Todd.
Chick #2: Why?
Chick #1: I mean, he’s an okay-looking guy and all, but can you imagine if a girl looked like him?
–15th & 5th
Overheard by: Manhattman
Guy to woman with baby strapped to her chest: Your baby looks like a little Yoda.
Woman: That's what my husband said.
Husband: No, I said she looks like Obi-Wan.
–Path b/w Christopher & 9th
Overheard by: Brwnman
Girl #1: I don't understand why parents are upset when babies die…it's not like they've accomplished anything.
Girl #2: I think there's more to it than that.
–Howard Ave, Staten Island
Girl #1: You want to hear something crazy? My sister, you know she’s pregnant with her second kid, right? The baby’s due date is the same exact day as her first kid’s birthday.
Girl #2: That’s so crazy. Maybe they only kick it once a year.
–6 train
Girl #1: When is she having the baby?
Girl #2: Real soon… I wouldn't be surprised if she had it today!
Girl #3: I hope it's a boy.
Girl #2: No. If it is, she's giving it up for adoption. For real. I stood over her and saw her sign the papers. She should've just gotten an abortion.
–L Train
Overheard by: Jayboi
Drunk middle aged man, grabbing wife's shoulder: Watch this! Nine months from tonight! Count it, people! She's going to have a motherfucking baby! Nine months! Niiiiiine months!
–E 9th St & University Place
Overheard by: NYUTSOA2012
Tween to grandmother: There's this girl in my class at school who had a baby around Halloween, and she named it Starlight. It's a baby girl.
–F Train
Overheard by: office peon
Hysterical teen: If I had nine months left to live I would have his baby!
–Gee Whiz, Tribeca
Train conductor: Stand clear of the closing doors! Especially if you got a baby and a baby carriage!
–Uptown 2 Train
Attractive brunette: There were dead babies in the tree. Like Christmas ornaments.
–96th & Broadway
Chick #1: Did I ever tell you about my friend's mom who had a baby in the toilet?
(awkward pause)
Chick #2: Now you're gonna tell it?
–Pomme Frite Restaurant
Woman: I need to pick up my child from daycare, where would she be?
Security guard: What age group?
Woman: I think she’s one.
–Rockefeller Plaza
Police officer to taxi driver: If you just hit one, the rest will scatter.
–Herald Square
Guy to girl, pushing her into the street: Anna versus car, who will win?
–E Houston & Ave D
Overheard by: haha
Tourist to New Yorker: You're not supposed to jaywalk!
–Herald Square
Chick to another: We didn't get hit by a car… Oh well, maybe next time.
–7th & 23rd
Overheard by: Stormy
Guy with stroller to passing car: You hit my baby, I'll take your car!
–Fordham & Hoffman
Overheard by: sromeo
Crossing guard, watching pedestrian cross in a hurry: My money's on the bus!
–Lower Manhattan
Overheard by: Steve
