Mama thug: Don't stand by the doors. Sit down! You're gonna fall, and I'ma laugh at you. And you want me to laugh at you?
Baby thug: No.
–2 Train
Mama thug: Don't stand by the doors. Sit down! You're gonna fall, and I'ma laugh at you. And you want me to laugh at you?
Baby thug: No.
–2 Train
Pregnant woman: Can I cut in front of you, it’s an emergency?
Unpregnant man: Yeah no problem, but you better name that shit after me.
–Famiglia, 8th & Broadway
Cute JAP talking about all the stuff she gets: I don't need a man, I have my mom.
–Rare View Bar
Overheard by: white guy
Blonde girl to male friend: Listen, John. Fifteen minutes, your mom. Fifteen minutes, your mom.
–R Train
Annoying 40-something new mom: A good mom always has a diaper in her pocket!
–Barnes & Noble, 18th & 5th
Overheard by: I Am McLovey
Coworker: I got a bootleg mother.
–Midtown
Window-shopping tourist to wife: Look, honey! It's the dress your mother wore when they buried her!
–Union Square
Overheard by: CJ
Guy: I go over to the house for Mother's Day and she yells at me for not calling her for Mother's Day like my brother did. So I go outside and call her from my cell and say "happy Mother's Day!" and she yells at me for being an idiot.
–37th & 7th
Thug kid: When are you having that damn baby?
Preggers: I was due last week and I want a C-section but the doctor said we shouldn’t do it yet.
Thug kid: I’ma call that doctor tomorrow and tell him to take that nigga out.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Anthony Amico
Girl #1: So I had this dream where I had this little baby, and it was bald.
Girl #2: Oh yeah?
Girl #1: So I mean, it was a boy.
–6 train
Overheard by: marla rosenthal
Customer: Hey, you lost a lot of weight.
Barista: No, I gave birth two weeks ago.
Customer: To a baby?
–Starbucks
Overheard by: mjw51
Guy #1: What are you trying to do?
Guy #2: Have your babies.
Guy #1: Mad babies?
Guy #2: Mabies.
–Rubin Hall elevator, 5th Avenue
Overheard by: danie
Remote control car vendor #1, to hot chick passerby: Hey, baby, I got a pretty girl discount!
Remote control car vendor #2: Yeah, I’m giving out free babies. Free babies!
–181st & Broadway
Overheard by: Josh H
Young woman, waiting to deposit paycheck: They is killin’ me in taxes! I got to get a baby.
–HSBC, Hanson Pl, Brooklyn
Overheard by: andrew
Businessguy: It’s a small world.
Businesschick: Especially in Astoria!
Businessguy: Ha, ha, ha!
Businesschick: Hee, hee.
–Midtown office
