Guy: Can I get a Sparkling Mango?
His GF stares at him.
Guy: I’m very secure with my sexuality. And after making you come so sweetly–twice!–you should be too.
–Schiller’s, Rivington Street
Overheard by: Idan
Guy: Can I get a Sparkling Mango?
His GF stares at him.
Guy: I’m very secure with my sexuality. And after making you come so sweetly–twice!–you should be too.
–Schiller’s, Rivington Street
Overheard by: Idan
Irritated man to girlfriend: Oh my god! You are so fucking stupid!
Girlfriend: You are so mean! (stops suddenly) Oh my god! I just got ranch dressing in my ear!
–Times Square
Husky chucklehead boyfriend: Yo! Would it be bad to take a dump in Filene's Basement?!
Preoccupied girlfriend: Ummmm…
–Filene's Basement, Union Square
Overheard by: TMI
Artsy girlfriend: Ooh, I smell art!
Artsy boyfriend: I see boobs.
(they giggle and kiss gleefully)
–Natural History Museum
Girl: What happened?
Guy: Man, that girl brushed up on me, so I turned around, and the bitch said, “Don’t fucking look at me!” and she slapped me!
Girl: Really?!
Guy: And then my girl just starting beating on her!
Girlfriend: Haha yeah! Did you see all that blood?
Guy: Girl must have been coked out for it to come spilling out like that.
Girl: It was crazy! We didn’t know what was going on!
Girlfriend: Its like that time at the club when I took off my shoe!
–Kellogg Diner, Brooklyn
Man in floor-length green dress to passersby: How do you know if you're having a baby? It's by the way you lift your legs!
–8th & 34th
Guy to girlfriend: Just make sure you tell me if you're on antibiotics. I already got like three babies that way.
–Battery Park
Overheard by: It's how I got mine
Large black man: She was poppin' those babies out like an Easy-Bake Oven!
–Coney Island Broadwalk
Hobo woman yelling at random pregnant woman: I told you be careful with that belly! That baby's gonna die! It gonna die!
–Broadway & Liberty
Overheard by: CG
Man talking animatedly on cell: Yeah! Don't be surprised if the baby comes out with a hairy red ass!
–Spring Street, SoHo
Middle aged woman: Your baby wouldn't stop crying, so I put my tit in his mouth.
–W 12th & W 4th
Overheard by: michael diamond
Guy: I haven’t brushed my teeth in 48 hours.
Girl: Ew, that’s so gross.
Guy: Hey, you’re the one that’s kissing me. Want to see some plaque?
–1 train
Excited girlfriend: Hey, are these soap bars?
Disinterested boyfriend: I don't know, why don't you drop one and find out?
–Bath & Body Works
Headline by: Harriet
Runners-Up:
· “And Nine Months Later…” – Junior
· “Dating Ex-Cons Has Its Drawbacks” – Mike
· “Part Of Bloomberg’s “Clean Up the Village!” Program?” – Bobo D Clown
· “Prison Etiquette 101” – Kosi
Teen chick on cell: Yeah, he’s a total dickwad. But I’ve got to go — I’m going to break up with him right now.
Boy walking with her: Me? Fuck you, bitch.
–23rd & 6th
Overheard by: Ren
Gay boyfriend #1: I'm so disappointed. I really didn't like that as much as mine.
Gay boyfriend #2: You think yours is better?
Gay boyfriend #1: Definitely! Next time I'm bringing my own soap.
–City Opera
Overheard by: Morning Glory
